Professional Courtesy, LLC

Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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Menus and Place Cards

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Menus and Place Cards

If you are having a wedding or special event, consider doing menu cards featuring your menu. They can become a lovely keepsake for you and your guests. Menus also let your guests know what is being served and in multi-course meals, menus help you pace your eating. Be sure to put the date and any other notable information on the menu.

Place cards are also another nice touch for dinners and celebrations.

Here is the menu and place card that I had done for the special dinner  my husband and I hosted for former First Lady, Barbara Bush, when she was visiting our town. She was kind enough to sign everyone’s menu.

Mrs. Bush said that at State dinners, the guests at each table often signed each other’s menus. If it was good enough for the White House, I thought it would be a nice touch at our dinner.

A friend did the beautiful art work on all of the menus and name cards and I then had a calligrapher do the printing on them. I had one menu for each couple and of course, one for anyone attending as a single. It was a memorable dinner and all of our guests went home with a lovely keepsake of the evening …plus a photo with Mrs. Bush, at her suggestion. She was a very gracious guest.

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My Guest Blogger, Rosalinda Randall

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My Guest Blogger, Rosalinda Randall…
em>I am so happy to have fellow etiquette consultant, Rosalind Randall as my guest blogger. She shares her advice on dealing with young adult children coming home from college and the challenges it presents on both sides. Her advice is practical and sprinkled with a sense of humor…something we all need when our kids come home after being away.

Thank you, Rosalinda, for sharing your expertise with my readers.

 

It’s Starts with the College Visit

Yesterday I ran into a mom, dad, and their daughter. They were leaving for the traditional college visit. While mom was rattling off the “did you remember to bring…” list. Dad, with keys in hand was rattling off the traffic situation, the need to gas up, and as calmly as possible, repeating, “Let’s go!”

This is the first step to the unanticipated changes that are inevitable once “Junior” leaves home; and returns.

Although it has been several years since our sons left for college, as I write this, my eyes are filled with tears. The pure sadness of watching our “babies” wave from their dorm room will stay with me forever, as will the joy of being a part of their journey into adulthood.

What does this have to do with etiquette? Respect, consideration, and tact, that’s what. And I don’t mean only from “Junior”.

It can be a difficult thing for a parent to take a step back from the “Because I said so!” and the “You should because…” mode. I’m not under any certain circumstances barring you from using them, only respectfully suggesting that you consider stopping it!

Now that “Junior” has had a taste of independence, experienced different points of view, perhaps forced to express and explain his/her viewpoints, communicated with professors, and has socially expanded his/her circle of friends, oh boy, they may have a whole new approach and outlook on a lot of things.

Don’t panic, Mom and Dad; it’ll be okay. Do more listening than debating.

How did you react when your parents wagged their finger in your face telling you that you were wrong? Hmm?

While I wholeheartedly believe in the, “my house, my rules” policy; I also believe that rules can be reevaluated?

Sometimes we are blinded by the joy and anticipation of “Junior” coming home from college; we tend to try to make things exactly like he used to like them, that we are blind-sided when he says, “Mom, I don’t eat cookies anymore…are these organic?” And you are left holding a plate of his favorite cookies wondering, “Who are you?”…what happened?

Here are a couple of tips from my book, “When Junior Comes Home from College”:

For Parents:

Tip 1: If Junior stays in one evening, don’t utter, “It’s about time.” Enjoy the time together.

Tip 2: Express interest in their latest fad. (I did not say “approve of.”)

For Junior:

Tip 1: Yes, you do have to adhere to the “house rules.” (It’s not your dorm room.) If you think your parents are too strict, discuss it.

Tip 2: No, you shouldn’t storm in and clear out all the 2% milk because you’ve discovered soy milk.

Mom and Dad, try a little tenderness, composure, and humor; it’ll help make this potentially tumultuous time into a mellow and joyful experience for both parents and young adults.

“When Junior Comes Home From College”. Now available on Amazon.com

Rosalinda Randall is a modern-day expert on tact and civility, using etiquette as a foundation. Based in Northern California, she has been spreading civility for over fifteen years.

Website: Your Relationship Edge

Facebook: Your Relationship Edge

Twitter: @rosalindatweets

Telephone: 650.871.6200

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Administrative Assistant’s Day

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Showing Appreciation Everyday

In the U.S. this is the time we celebrate Administrative Assistant’s Day and week. Traditionally, a time for the boss to recognize their assistants for all of their hard work throughout the year. Many bosses will offer flowers, gift cards, and even a lunch out of the office. However you do it, let these hard-working people, who often have your back, know that you appreciate them.

Administrative Assistants are often the first impression for you as the boss, or for your entire organization…a very important job. So, don’t just remember them this week, let them know throughout the year how much you appreciate them.

I am always sad when I hear front line people say that they don’t think their bosses even know their name. A sad commentary, I think, in any arena.

Some ways to honor them are:

  • Send flowers, always a thoughtful gift and they brighten up the usual office atmosphere.

  • Provide gift cards for food, coffee, gas or a myriad of other things. The cards can be used or saved for something special.

  • Take them out to lunch. When the boss takes the time to go with their assistants for a meal out of the office, it says they are worthy of your company and your assistants will feel special.

  • Carry-in food if it is difficult to break away from your work situation in the middle of the day.

  • Send them for training out of the office. Getting away for some special, out of the ordinary, training can do a lot to boost the morale of your team members.

  • Most importantly, say, “thank you.” Something many people don’t hear very often during their work day.

Questions You Should Never Ask

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Questions You Should Never Ask
While at a social event recently I bumped into a woman I had not seen in a number of years. As often happens, our discussion got around to etiquette and rude behavior. She told me that when she was pregnant for one of her children (who are now grown) someone asked her if her pregnancy was planned. She said she was dumb stuck and very offended. So offended, she has never forgotten the incident.

This started me thinking of some of the questions people ask, not intending to be rude, but are.

  • How old are you?

  • You only have one child, do you intend to have others?

  • Why don’t you have any children?

  • Was your pregnancy planned?

  • How much weight have you lost?

  • How much weight have you gained?

  • You look tired, are you?

  • How much money do you make?

  • What did you pay for that?

  • Are you pregnant?

All of these questions fall into the category of personal and private decisions, for an individual or a couple…decisions that are private unless they choose to offer the information. Let that be your guide before you ask a question and insert your foot.

What are some of the questions you’ve been asked that offended you?

Physicians Need Good Table Manners

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Physicians Need Good Table Manners
A few years ago I was engaged by the director of a medical residency program in my community to teach the program residents table manners. Now, you may wonder why medical residents need to know how to navigate a dining table gracefully. But good table manners are a must for professionals in any arena.

The director of the program stated that she felt some of the residents were lacking in good table manners and that this could be a huge turn off for potential candidates considering the program. The senior residents did a lot of interviewing and answering questions of the medical students considering this program, over a meal. If a certain level of sophistication wasn’t displayed she was concerned that the program would lose people to more metropolitan areas that were perceived to be more sophisticated and have more to offer.

I couldn’t agree more with her line of thinking, but not only interviewing potential people for a residency program…consider the residents who are being interviewed for jobs in medical groups after they finish their training. Many of those interviews are conducted over a meal. Poor social skills may be a liability, in spite of technical skills.

Also, physicians participate in lots of board and committee meetings that involve meals. Being the guy who is splayed all over the table acting like it is his last meal is a real turn off.

So, along with knowing how to handle a scalpel, knowing how to manage a knife and fork gracefully, will be to any physician’s advantage.

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Here are some of my top dining tips:

  1. Assess the table and pause before picking up any silver. Wait for your host or hostess or senior person at the table to start the meal.
  1. Open your hands, palms up. Place the knife and fork on the open hands. Let half of the handle rest on the palm of each hand; turn the implements over and leverage the knife and fork with your index fingers.
  1. Eating in the American or Continental fashion is acceptable in America today.
  1. Don’t gesture with your knife and fork.
  1. Cut one bite at a time.
  1. Put napkin on lap to unfold. When leaving the table temporarily, place the napkin on the chair. At the end of the meal, place napkin to the left of plate.
  1. The soup spoon is held like a pencil.
  1. Soup is spooned away from you toward the center of the soup plate. Sip off the side of the spoon.
  2. The soup plate may be tipped away from you in order to fill the spoon with the last sips of soup.
  1. Do not blow on soup or stir it if it is too hot. Skim off the top or wait until soup cools.
  1. Refrain from putting crackers in your soup when out or at a formal meal.
  1. The soup spoon may rest in the soup plate when finished or in between bites. The spoon rests on the saucer when it comes in a cup.
  1. When encountering a multi-course meal with multiple pieces of flat ware and you are questioning what fork to use first, start from the outside and work in toward the plate.
  1. Solids are on the left of your dinner plate, such as, bread and butter plate and liquids are on the right.
  1. Break bread in bite size pieces and butter one bite at a time over the bread and butter plate.
  1. Pass food to the right. If you start the food, take your portion when it comes back around to you.
  1. Taste your food before seasoning it.
  1. When someone asks for the salt, pass both the salt and pepper in anticipation of their need. Set it on the table in front of them and let them pick it up.
  1. Keep personal items such as; purses, glasses, cell telephones, etc. off the table. Purses should stay on your lap or under the chair.
  1. Refrain from putting on make-up, combing hair, picking teeth, blowing nose vigorously at the table. “If you do it the bathroom, don’t do it at the table.”
  1. If someone offers a toast to you do not drink to yourself.
  1. When offering a toast, remember to be appropriate for the audience and be brief. It’s a toast not a roast.
  1. If in doubt about what to do, watch someone at the table who knows. It can prevent an embarrassing situation.
  1. When leaving the table temporarily do not announce where you are going; just say, “Excuse me.”
  1. Chew with your mouth closed. Take small bites to avoid talking with food in your mouth.
  1. Try a little of everything presented unless you are allergic to a certain food.
  1. Don’t talk about food likes and dislikes at the table.
  1. Maintain good posture at the table. Keep arms and elbows off the table.
  1. Don’t push your plate away from you when finished eating and wait for everyone to finish before plates are cleared.

Reproduction of this material without prior authorization from Professional Courtesy, LLC is strictly prohibited.1/20/2014

 

Company Profile

Founded in 1999, the mission of Professional Courtesy and Karen Hickman is to present programs of the finest quality with the highest degree of professionalism.

The purpose of the seminars and programs is to enable professionals, executives, and individuals to conduct business in diverse cultural arenas with ease.
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Contact Us

Professional Courtesy, LLC
Etiquette/Protocol Consultants
P.O. Box 15353
Fort Wayne IN 46885-5353

Telephone: 260-486-7758
Facsimile: 260-486-7758
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