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American Flag Etiquette

July 2, 2014 by procourtesy

American Flag Etiquette
With the Fourth of July coming up in two days, here is a little American Flag etiquette for you from the U.S. State Department website.

Guidelines for Display of the Flag

Public Law 94-344, known as the Federal Flag Code, contains rules for handling and displaying the
U.S. flag. While the federal code contains no penalties for misusing the flag, states have their own
flag codes and may impose penalties. The language of the federal code makes clear that the flag is
a living symbol.
In response to a Supreme Court decision which held that a state law prohibiting flag burning was
unconstitutional, Congress enacted the Flag Protection Act in 1989. It provides that anyone who
knowingly desecrates the flag may be fined and/or imprisoned for up to one year. However, this law
was challenged by the Supreme Court in a 1990 decision that the Flag Protection Act violates the
First Amendment free speech protections.
Important Things to Remember
Traditional guidelines call for displaying the flag in public only from sunrise to sunset. However, the
flag may be displayed at all times if it’s illuminated during darkness. The flag should not be subject
to weather damage, so it should not be displayed during rain, snow and wind storms unless it is an
all-weather flag.
It should be displayed often, but especially on national and state holidays and special occasions.
The flag should be displayed on or near the main building of public institutions, schools during
school days, and polling places on election days. It should be hoisted briskly and lowered
ceremoniously.

The flag should never be draped or drawn back in folds. Draped red, white and blue bunting should be used
for decoration, with the blue at the top and red at the bottom.
The flag may be flown at half-staff to honor a newly deceased federal or state government official by order of
the president or the governor, respectively. On Memorial Day, the flag should be displayed at half-staff until
noon.

Other Things Not to Do with the Flag
Out of respect for the U.S. flag, never:

dip it for any person or thing, even though state flags, regimental colors and other flags may be dipped as a mark of honor.
display it with the union down, except as a signal of distress.
let the flag touch anything beneath it: ground, floor, water, merchandise.
carry it horizontally, but always aloft.
fasten or display it in a way that will permit it to be damaged or soiled.
place anything on the flag, including letters, insignia, or designs of any kind.
use it for holding anything.
use it as wearing apparel, bedding or drapery. It should not be used on a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be attached to the uniform of patriotic organizations,
military personnel, police officers and firefighters.
use the flag for advertising or promotion purposes or print it on paper napkins, boxes or anything else intended for temporary use and discard.

During the hoisting or lowering of the flag or when it passes in parade or review, Americans should
stand at attention facing the flag and place their right hand over the heart. Uniformed military
members render the military salute. Men not in uniform should remove any headdress and hold it
with their right hand at their left shoulder, the hand resting over the heart. Those who are not U.S.
citizens should stand at attention.

When the flag is worn out or otherwise no longer a fitting emblem for display, it should be destroyed
in a dignified way, preferably by burning.

For more information regarding the American Flag go to:

http://answers.usa.gov/system/templates/selfservice/USAGov/#!portal/1012/article/5002/The-American-Flag-and-its-Protocol

Keeping Cool While Staying Professional

June 20, 2014 by procourtesy

girl with a briefcase walking on green grass field

Keeping Cool While Staying Professional
When summer temperatures soar most of us scale down our clothing in an effort to stay cool. And going to work in traditional business attire can be a challenge on hot days. However, getting too skimpy with your clothing can be a real liability in how you are perceived as a professional.

Your job, position and work environment should dictate the level of formality needed in your attire. If you are in a serious business, like finance, law or other highly professional fields, it is very important not to get too casual.
Here are some of my dos and don’ts to maintain a professional image on hot summer days:
• Don’t expose too much skin. Sleeveless, low cut tops are not appropriate in traditional work settings.
• Don’t flip and flop with your shoes. Slides, flip flops and sandals are not as professional as closed toe shoes or closed toe sling backs.
• Don’t get too high with your heels. Anything over two inches can be perceived as “sexy”
• Don’t get too short with your skirts… one –two inches above the knee should be the limit, regardless of how great your legs are.
• Don’t reveal all of your assets. Cleavage on either end is too much information. Be careful not to expose your bare midriff when raising your arms.
• Don’t wear tight tee shirts, tanks or sheer tops. No one wants to tell the temperature of the room by what a woman has on. Layering or a lined bra can help avoid this faux pas.
• Don’t wear capris or long shorts or cargo pants. Light weight long pants are a better choice.
Consider:
• Do wear lighter weight wrinkle resistant fabrics.
• Do lose the tie and wear an open collar if ties are not required.
• Do remove your jacket, but keep one handy if something pops up during your day that might require one.
• Do go bare legged if hose are not required.
• Do wear lighter weight skirts if long pants are too hot.
If you question if something is appropriate for work…it probably isn’t. If you find yourself apologizing for what you have on…it’s wrong.

Summer Jobs Do’s and Don’ts

June 4, 2014 by procourtesy

I co-owned a beautiful, high-end gift store for 10 years and enjoyed the experience very much. We had a great staff and people waiting in line wanting to work for us. Most of the staff was composed of mature women who just wanted a little time away from their usual routines and loved and appreciated beautiful things. However, in the summer months we often supplemented our staff with well-chosen, college students.

We had an active bridal registry and spent hours with our brides helping them choose just the right china, crystal, linens and more. So, to work for us required some knowledge or the willingness to learn, in detail, about the very beautiful things we sold.

Today, as we start the summer months I am reminded of those days and the number of young people who would come in the door wanting to know if we were hiring. Some of those young people looked great, impressed us with their maturity and looked like they might fit in. Those were the names I kept in a special file with detailed comments, in case we had an opening in the future for them.

Then, there were the young people who came in, with their friends, dressed in cut off jeans, chewing a wad of bubble gum, proceeding to ask if we had any openings. Needless to say, we did not. The way those young people presented themselves never got them past the front door, as far as we were concerned.

So, if you are seeking summer employment and popping into to businesses, here are some things to keep in mind:

Don’t take your friends along if you are going into businesses and asking for a job.
Make sure you are well-groomed and dressed appropriately.
No cut-offs
No chewing gum
No sweat pants or exercise clothes
No low-cut or skimpy tops
No too short skirts
No shorts
No flip flops
No tank tops or bare midriff

If you get the job, be available and willing to work when asked. If you are always asking for time off or can only work a short period of time, maybe a summer job is not going to work out.

Many summer jobs can turn into great opportunities later on. Take advantage of working with people who can teach you a few things.

Happy job hunting!

Teach Respect and Give Respect

May 12, 2014 by procourtesy

Give Respect to Earn Respect words on a button to show the cycle of winning reverence, honor and trust of others

Teach Respect and Give Respect
I am always disappointed when I read snarky, rude responses and comments on social media sites. I think it is bad form and unprofessional. There are ways to comment and disagree without vulgar language and insulting tirades. The old maxim, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” is worth considering before you post a response that is public and has the power to come back and bite you. But there is nothing more distressing for me, as an etiquette and protocol consultant, than to see this bad behavior coming from other people who consider themselves professionals in our industry.

I have noticed over the past months, with the increase in organized groups on LinkedIn for etiquette trainers that there is a distinct lack of civility in responses from some who comment in some of those groups; something I think is quite distressing, especially for people who are suppose to be teaching others how to be more civilized.

Certainly, not all of the responders are to blame, but I do have trouble with other etiquette trainers calling people out in a rude fashion who have posted something they don’t agree with, especially when it is some point of minutia.

Since the rules of etiquette are suppose to be rooted in consideration for others, I find it difficult to tolerate those who would berate someone because they don’t agree with where they put the napkin when they leave the table temporarily. It is the kind of thing that gives etiquette trainers a bad name- suggesting that we focus on the rule and not the reason behind it. I think those of us who were well trained by reputable organizations, can agree to disagree, on a few points based on where we live and the cultures in which we teach. There are differences to be sure.

When I teach dining etiquette to any group I often say,”if you used the right fork, but were rude to the wait staff, you’ve missed my message.” It’s not about the fork!

So, here are some of my tips for people in our industry to make us more civilized and diplomatic:

Disagree diplomatically anytime, but especially on social media.

Be happy for other people’s successes in our industry.
Make friends with your competition. There is enough business out there for all of us.
If people share your info on social media, share theirs in return.
Find out who’s out there doing what you do. Networking is a good thing in any arena.
Give credit where credit is due.

But most of all, practice what we preach. Let’s get over ourselves, stop the pretense and exhibit some civility toward one another. If you can’t and don’t, I question whether you should call yourself a professional and whether you should align yourself with some of the other fine people out there doing some great things in our industry.

As for me commenting and joining those groups, I have stopped joining them and commenting…not because I don’t admire some of the people who have started the groups, but because I don’t want to be associated with some of those who comment in a way that I don’t admire.

Today, starts the beginning of National Etiquette Week so, let’s all get on board and demonstrate what we say we are all about.

You Don’t Have to Give Birth to be a Mother

May 10, 2014 by procourtesy

You Don’t Have to Give Birth to be a Mother

I am lucky to still have my mother in my life. She will be 87 next month and is still going strong, living very independently with my 97 year old father in their own home…this a real gift. Most of my contemporaries have lost one parent, or both. Or if they do have them, many are infirmed.

However, many people grow up without benefit of having a birth mother in the strictest sense. But there are those people who come into our lives to help raise us and rescue us when a birth mother is absent for various reasons. It could be an older sister, a loving aunt, a grandmother, a stepmother or just a devoted friend who mentors you over the years. And many of those women are childless who step into nurture us and care for us…that’s called mothering, too.

So, this Mother’s Day, remember all the wonderful women in your life who have stepped in to help raise you and guide you to where you are today.

Here is a photo of me with my mother, daughter and my granddaughter…four generations in 2006. How fortunate I am.

Who are the women in your life who have help care for you?

Happy Mother’s Day!

American Flag Etiquette

Keeping Cool While Staying Professional

Summer Jobs Do’s and Don’ts

Teach Respect and Give Respect

You Don’t Have to Give Birth to be a Mother

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