Professional Courtesy, LLC

Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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You are here: Home / Blog

A Few of My Un-Favorite Things

August 29, 2013 by procourtesy

A Few of My Un-Favorite Things
 As someone who teaches etiquette and protocol to professionals I have noticed a lot of things over the years that could and should be done better by professionals. Here is my top 10 list of  un-favorite things that I notice people doing in professional settings.

#1. The limp handshake. In the American culture, a firm handshake is expected from men and women, in the gender neutral business arena. Connect palm to palm firmly. Shake from the elbow, two pumps are enough, and then release. If in doubt about your handshake, have a friend evaluate it.

#2 Gum chewing. I am often surprised to see people in professional settings chewing gum. Gum chewing is a solitary activity. In other words, don’t chew gum in public.

#3 Poor table manners. So much of business today, is conducted over a meal. If you are unsure of what to do in dining situations take a class or get a book on table manners.

#4 Restaurant wait staff clearing plates in haste. Ideally, everyone starts the meal together and finishes together. Removing plates before everyone is done puts undo pressure on those who have not finished their meal.

#5 Take home boxes on the table. If taking home food from a restaurant, which you shouldn’t do at a business meal or when you are a guest, wait until everyone is finished. Have the wait staff box up your left overs in the kitchen and hand it to you as you leave.

#6 Responding with “no problem.” Responding to someone’s “thank you” with “no problem” suggests that there was a problem. A sincere “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” is the best response.

#7 Addressing everyone by their first name. In today’s more casual environment many people, especially young people, feel it is okay to call everyone by their first name. Err on the side of formality and you will always be safe. If someone wants you to call them by their first name, they will let you know.

#8 People preoccupied with their technology. Checking messages or texting in front of others suggests that they are not as important as your messages. Stay in the moment. Check your messages and send your texts in private.

#9 Over sharing on social media. Be careful with too many “selfies” on social media. It can appear narcissistic. Everyone doesn’t need to know every thought that comes into your head. And avoid ranting and raving about politics and hot button news stories.

#10 Posting photos without permission. Don’t post photos or information about others on social media without their permission.

What are some of your pet peeves when it comes to lack of courtesy in others?

Filed Under: business etiquette Tagged With: business etiquette, etiquette expert, etiquette faux pas, gum chewing, hansaking etiquett, poor manners, techno etiquette

Navigating A Modern Medical Practice

August 6, 2013 by procourtesy

Navigating A Modern Medical Practice
The contemporary practice of medicine has taken a major shift for physicians and patients alike. The reasons for this are multifaceted:  managed care, expenses, insurance, technology…the list goes on and on. Certainly, physicians and hospitals are finding it challenging and feeling a lack of control as they adjust to the rapid changes in the practice of medicine. And so, patients must make adjustments as well, in order to feel they have control over their health care

Historically, progress has two sides to it. We usually have great benefits, but we often lose something that is unique to the old way of doing things. Medicine is no different. The solo practice where a patient and the “ole family doctor” have a close one–on-one relationship is becoming rare.  However, this does not mean a patient cannot have a meaningful and effective relationship with their physician in a large group and get excellent medical care. It does mean that the patient may have to shift their thinking and adjust their approach. Patients who take more responsibility for their health and learn to work the system and their physician’s practice effectively can reduce the poor communication that is a common complaint today.

Some tips to navigate a modern medical system are:

  • Be proactive before you get sick, if possible.
  • Know the routine of your physician’s office.
  • Try to see the same physician at every appointment to enhance continuity of care  and to establish a relationship.
  • Learn the names of the medical staff you deal with, in person, and when you place a call.
  • Learn when to place a call to the office. Avoid Monday mornings at 9 am, before lunch and minutes before the office closes.
  • Ask for, and keep copies of your own health record and that of your family members.
  • Plan ahead for prescription refills. Don’t wait until week-ends or the last minute.
  • Learn how to navigate the telephone system by asking for the extension number of the nurse and how to get a “live” person.
  • Understand their protocol for emergencies.
  • Find out what hospital your physician goes to? Many medical groups split the hospitals for efficiency. Your physician may not  make rounds or have privileges in your preferred hospital.
  • Know the people who are providing your care.  If the staff or physician does not let you know who they are, introduce yourself and ask their name and title/ position.
  • Turn off your cell phone! Taking calls during your appointment is rude and disruptive.
  • Understand your physician’s protocol for receiving test results. Some offices only call patients with negative test results. If  in doubt about the expectations or if you are anxious about a test results, call.
  • Call ahead and see if your physician is running behind if timely appointments are a concern. Ask again when you arrive and check periodically if your wait is getting lengthy.
  • Be familiar with the privacy guidelines and be sure to document the family members who are privy to your medical information.
  • Consider taking a family member or trusted friend to your appointments. If you are elderly or have serious medical issues another person can act as an advocate and help prevent errors in information transmission.
  • Take notes or ask if you can record the conversation for other family members.
  • Note when making an appointment if it is essential to arrive 15 minutes ahead of your appointment time to fill out paper work.
  • Understand that courtesy is infectious on all sides and very important. Make sure you are considerate. If you encounter rudeness from a staff member or physician, respond kindly. It will often diffuse the behavior. We all have a bad day, but if it is one individual, and the behavior is persistent, let the physician know. They can’t fix a problem if they don’t know about it.
  • Change practices if the personalities and attitudes of a particular office are something you can’t live with.  Be sure to let the office know why you left.
  • Document serious glitches. For instance, if you call multiple times and no one returns your calls, let management know. Your time is valuable and waiting for long periods of time without a response can hold up progress.

Sooner or later we all become consumers of the medical system, even physicians. Staying informed and up to date will help with the frustrations that plague the modern practice of medicine. Dr. Welby, as we knew him, may be passé, but there are many fine caregivers who have replaced him. On the surface, their style, accompanied by advanced technology may make things seem very different, but the ultimate goal of most physicians is to care for people and make them better.

Filed Under: medical manners Tagged With: contemporary medical etiquette, etiquette expert, Karen Hickman, medical etiquette, medical manners, patient responsibility

Dining Etiquette for Business…Beyond the Fork

August 1, 2013 by procourtesy

Dining Etiquette for Business…Beyond the Fork
Believe it or not, your dining etiquette skills, or lack of them, say a great deal about you. They can be an indicator of many things; where you came from, how you make decisions,whether you are respectful of all people and possibly,whether you get a job or not.

Many people think “dining etiquette” is all about the fork, but in truth, it is way beyond the fork. Here is a list of some dining etiquette skills and what message they send if you ignore them:

  • Wait until everyone is seated  before picking up your napkin and placing it on your lap. The host should pick up their napkin first to signify the start of the meal.  (This step shows that you are aware and considerate of everyone at the table.)
  • Don’t start eating until everyone is served. (Launching into your meal before others are served is rude and can be perceived as “self-centered”)
  • Taste your food before adding salt & pepper. (Reaching for the salt and pepper shaker before tasting can suggest to some that you make hasty decisions.)
  • Eating in the Continental style or American style is acceptable in the U.S. today. (The American culture is the only culture that uses the “American” style or the “zig zag” style of eating. Therefore, Americans can be picked out in a crowd just by the way they eat.)
  • Be polite to the wait staff. ( Being rude to the wait staff or people who are in service positions can be an indicator of your true character. Courtesy should be extended to all people.)
  • Don’t talk about your food likes and dislikes at the table. Try tasting everything on your plate unless you are allergic to it. (Saying “yuck” when served a certain food item is very offensive to the host and can suggest a lack of flexibility in trying new things in any arena.)
  • Avoid taking cell phone calls and checking messages at the table. Put your phone on silent mode. (Being glued to your phone during a meal says the people you are with are not as important as your messages.)
  • Pace your eating, whether you are fast or slow, so everyone at the table finishes at the same time. ( Racing through your meal and having your plate cleared while others are still eating can put undue pressure on slow eaters to finish. Being too slow with your eating can be annoying and hold up each course being served.)
  • Don’t order the most expensive item on the menu unless your host encourages it. Choose something somewhere in the middle. (Ordering market price lobster or something equally expensive can be viewed as taking advantage when someone else is picking up the tab.)
  • Monitor your alcohol intake. (Overindulging can lead to unprofessional behavior and suggest a lack of self-control.)
  • Don’t drink to yourself if someone offers a toast to you. (Drinking to yourself is tantamount to patting yourself on the back.)

Many companies do interviews over a meal to see how prospective employees handle themselves in social situations. Your lack of good table manners can be a real liability. If you are not comfortable in fine dining situations then you might consider brushing up on your dining skills.

Filed Under: dining for business Tagged With: business dining etiquette, dinging for business, dining etiquette, dining faux pas, dining for business, job interviews, table talk

How About A Virtual Bridal Shower?

August 1, 2013 by procourtesy

How About a Virtual Bridal Shower?
I was recently involved in helping a friend host a virtual bridal shower. The idea came to us as we tried to figure out how we could shower the future daughter-in-law of a good friend when the bride was unable to take time away from her new job in California. We live in the Midwest.

As we chatted about it we decided on doing a virtual shower. The usual friends and family members were invited for a lunch, but were asked to ship their gifts, in advance, to the bride in California. The bride was alerted to the day and time so she could plan on being with us virtually.

We took pictures of the tables and all of the guests so the bride could see what was being done on our end. The mother of the groom called the bride to let her know when we were sitting down to lunch and then what time to log in to open the gifts. It worked perfectly. As each gift was opened by the bride, the person who had sent the gift got in front of the camera so the bride could meet them and the guest could see her open their gift. The brides mother was visiting her in California so she got to be part of the day too.

These days with couples living far from their home, hosting a virtual shower can be the perfect answer to connect everybody. It isn’t as good as being there in person, but it does allow friends and family members to do something special for the couple.

So the important things to remember are to:

  • Schedule the date and time that suits everyone involved.

  • Ask shower guests to ship their gifts to the bride directly, well in advance of the shower.

  • Take photos of the tables and guests so the bride can have them as a keepsake.

  • Introduce guests to the bride as she is opening their gift.

  • Encourage the bride to invite family and or friends to join her on her end so it seems more festive for her too.

The idea of a virtual shower could certainly work for mothers to be, who are confined to bed rest.

Filed Under: Wedding Etiquette Tagged With: bridal shower etiquette, hosting a virtual shower, long distance showers, virtual bridal shower, virtual shower etiquette, wedding etiquette

Are You A Real Health Care Professional?

July 19, 2013 by procourtesy

Nurses-Scrub-Tops

Are You a Real Health care Professional?
The healthcare arena today, has workers with many different levels of education. However, regardless of the letters after your name, there are certain skills that everyone should have in order to be perceived as a “professional” health care worker. While the technical skills are necessary to deliver competent care to a patient, the soft skills are the skills that set you apart. Not developing those skills can make you less effective as a caregiver and co-worker and tarnish the title, “professional.”

Patients assume you know how to do your job in the clinical sense, but it is how you deliver that care that makes all of the difference in their perception of the care they receive.

Take a step back and ask yourself some questions about how you conduct yourself when caring for patients and working with others.

  • Am I giving my patients my undivided attention immediately upon seeing them?
  • Do I introduce myself and state my position with every new patient encounter?
  • Do I shake hands with the patient and their family members?
  • Do I give good eye contact when speaking and listening to a patient? Can I note the color of their eyes?
  • Do I connect with the patient personally before starting to chart on the computer?
  • Do I look at the patient when I ask a question and return to the keyboard to enter data?
  • Am I respectful by addressing patients formally, especially older patients?
  • What message does my body language convey? Do I have my hand on the door knob and one foot out the door before I close the conversation with the patient?
  • Am I well-groomed from top to bottom? Do I have on clean shoes and a pressed uniform?
  • Do I chew gum in public?
  • Am I sensitive to the needs of my co-workers? Do I offer help before being asked?
  • Do I manage up my co-workers and the physicians?
  • Do I pull rank on team members?
  • Do I recognize the value of everyone on the team?

Don’t just let the letters behind your name define you as a professional. If you answered no to many of these questions it may be time to review some professional courtesy skills to improve the perception others have of you as a “professional” and to become a genuine professional.

Filed Under: medical manners Tagged With: diplomacy, healthcare professionals, medical etiquette, medical manners, patient care, patient communication, Professional Courtesy, professional nurses, social skills

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