Blog - Professional Courtesy, LLC

Toasting a First Lady

February 19, 2011 by procourtesy

Barbara Bush photo — Barbara Bush and Karen Hickman

In 1999 I was part of an organization that had engaged former First Lady, Barbara Bush, as our keynote speaker. During her stay, my late husband and I had the opportunity to host a small intimate dinner in her honor. Since I was the person involved with the organization that engaged her I was the person responsible for making the toast at our dinner. Initially, I was quite nervous about it, but with some preparation and a little practice I felt I pulled it off with adequate aplomb.

The essence of my toast thanked her for gracing our table with her presence and for helping my organization celebrate it’s tenth anniversary. Inviting everyone else at the table to join me in raising their glasses…we wished a long happy life.

Offering an appropriate and memorable toast can add a great deal to a celebration or an event honoring a colleague or noted guest. Toasts should emphasize the reason for the event and not become the event. Preparing ahead of time can help the person responsible for the toast deliver it with grace and ease. Knowing the etiquette surrounding toasting can also keep one from making a major faux pas.

Here are some tips and rules for offering a memorable toast:

A toast is a tribute not a “roast”
A toast can be offered at the beginning of a meal or at dessert time.
Be appropriate for the audience. Those raucous college stories and ribald jokes should be reserved for the bachelor and bachelorette parties not at the wedding.
Clear all stories with the toast recipients
Keep it brief; no more than a few minutes.
Stand to deliver a toast.
Wait until everyone’s glass is filled before starting a toast.
In the business world, the highest ranking corporate person is usually responsible for the toast, regardless of gender.
In social settings it is usually the host or hostess who offers the first toast.
As a recipient of a toast, one does not drink to oneself.
If you are an honored guest you should be prepared to respond to your toast.
It is not essential to “clink” glasses.

In short, be prepared, be brief, be seated.

Do you or your family members have any toasting traditions?

The Power of Speech

January 21, 2011 by procourtesy

I recently saw the movie, “The Kings Speech” and would highly recommend it to anyone. The performances were so powerful and certainly made me think about how important speech is to our success and our self-esteem.

Many years ago people were schooled in elocution and speech in a very formal manner. Today, it seems those classes have gone by the way side. Some people take speech in high school or college, but it does not seem to be emphasized like it used to be. However, this does not lessen the importance of proper speech and the impact it can have on how we are perceived by others. Our accents, the words we use, the colloquialisms and idioms can say a great deal about us.

Highly successful people usually understand the power of language and how their delivery of that language commands attention. Certainly, Winston Churchill, FDR, and even Hitler, just to name a few, had that ability. I think they also must have loved words and speaking.

The power of how one speaks is still important today, maybe even more so, because we are all so hooked into technology and we communicate face to face, less and less.

Think about your speaking style, tape your voice reciting a poem or some wonderful prose and see what you think. If you do not like what you hear there are things you can do about it.

Some of the etiquette involved with a good first impression has a great deal to do with how you sound. For instance:

Saying “yes” instead of “yeah” will sound more intelligent and more professional.
Check the tone of your voice. If you know you have an annoying pitch to your voice, seek professional help from a voice coach.
Monitor your voice volume. Being too loud when you talk can leave a bad impression and be very distracting to others.
Avoid filler words and phrases such as, “ya know”, “I mean, like.”
Avoid slang whenever possible.
Say “hello” instead of “hi”
Keep swear words under your breath. In spite of the fact that we hear them everywhere these days, epithets and coarse language can be very offensive to many people and it is unprofessional.
Use powerful pauses in your speech.
Don’t interrupt. Allow others to finish their sentences and thoughts before offering your response.
Speak with confidence. Stand tall; shoulders back and weight on both feet.

The next time you hear someone speak that really gets your attention; pay attention to their style and delivery. That style is probably very carefully cultivated.

Addressing Thank You Notes to Health Care Givers

January 9, 2011 by procourtesy

Robert Hickey is Deputy Director of The Protocol School of Washington (where I was trained) and author of Honor & Respect: The Official Guide to Names, Titles, & Forms of Address. He answers questions about etiquette and protocol on his blog and received the question below on how to address a note of thanks to health care workers when you only have access to their first names.

Since I am a former nurse and have a special niche in teaching etiquette/protocol in the health care arena, he invited me to weigh in on the answer.

As always, thank you Robert, for your generosity.

Here is Robert’s contact info and the link to his blog. He welcomes your questions.

http://www.formsofaddress.info/faq.html

robert.hickey@psow.edu

Hi Karen,

Do you want to answer this one for you site?

My answer is below, Robert.

Begin forwarded message:

Dear Mr. Hickey,

How should one address a note of thanks for services rendered by a medical professional, such as a person ranked MD, RN, or CNA, whose name badge gives only the person’s first name and surname initial? I ask because my mother, who is elderly and as of today is receiving hospice care, recently spent several grueling weeks in a local hospital, and has asked that I express her gratitude to the medical personnel who attended her with outstanding kindness and compassion.

I know her main physicians’ surnames, but most of the medical team revealed only their first names and last name initials, such as Beth M., RN or Bob M., CNA on their badges. This reminds me of elementary school, when we children were required to head our papers with only our given names and surname initials. That was appropriate for young children with emerging manual dexterity in a small classroom, but I do not understand how it makes sense in a professional setting, unless the personnel involved fear legal retribution, such as malpractice suits, and thus wish to hide their true identities.

Please advise me on how to address these semi-anonymous professionals, who hold their patients’ lives in their hands but will not reveal their full identifies.

Yours,

Peyton Stafford

Dear Peyton Stafford,

All you can do is to follow the lead of the individual … and address it to the name you have:

Beth M., RN

Surgical Recovery Unit

Wilson County Hospital

4455 Smith Road

City, State, ZIP

Dear Beth,

One of the basics of names is that only children are introduced by first name only …. but it must be a security issue? … or they feel surnames are off-putting?

Sincerely, Robert

Dear Robert,

Thank you for the opportunity to respond to this question. I agree with your response, but would like to add a couple more points. The primary reasons medical personnel list first names only is for security reasons, but also because nurses are authorized to phone in prescriptions for physicians and there is less chance for a clever patient to call in medications using the nurses full name.

Also, if the patient has an established relationship with the facility there is a chance that a manager or supervisor would share last names.

Speaking from personal experience, from my nursing days, cards and notes of gratitude are always so appreciated by care givers. Any gifts, like candy or other food items should be sent to the team since ethically, nurses and physicians are discouraged from accepting personal gifts.

Sincerely,

Karen

Tea Drinkers’ Don’ts

January 7, 2011 by procourtesy

In honor of National Tea Month, here are some tips on how to avoid the Tea Drinkers’ Hall of Shame.

Do not refer to tea or afternoon tea as “high tea”.
Do not use lemon and milk together.
Do not add the milk before the tea.
Do not put the lemon slice in the cup before pouring the tea.
Do not extend the pinkie.
Do not leave the spoon upright in the cup.
Do not swirl the liquid around in the cup as if it were wine in a glass.
Do not cradle the cup in one’s fingers if there is a handle.
Do not remove the tea bag from the teapot and place it on the saucer.
Do not remove the teabag and wrap the string around it to squeeze out the remaining tea.

So, put on the kettle and settle in for a lovely cup of tea.

The Multi Generational Workplace/Test

January 4, 2011 by procourtesy

Thank you to Joe Wolfcale , CEO of Fort Wayne Radiology for being my guest blogger. I met Joe recently while we were both filming segments for Elizabeth Nulf MacDonald’s T. V. show, “The Verbal Edge.” At that time I learned that Joe has put together a great presentation on the multi-generational work place titled; “Integrating the Ages: Generational Issues in the Workplace.” In that presentation he uses Penelope Trunk’s test from one of her blog posts. Taking the test can let you know how tuned in you are to technology, something the “Millennial” generation is very adept at.

Joe lists the groups as follows:

Silent Generation: older than 68
Baby Boomers: 50-68 years old
Generation X: 28-49 year old
Millennials: 8-28 years old

If you are interested in how you can engage Joe to do a presentation for your organization or company you contact him via e-mail: jwolfcale@fwradiology.com I guarantee you will enjoy it and find it very enlightening and helpful.

Blog post and test: Understanding your “technical” generation

We are all born to be part of a specific generation of people; we have all grown up with an understanding of the generation we were born into. You could be part of the Silent Generation, Baby Boomer Generation, Generation X or Millennial Generation. Whatever your generation, you have most likely become well attuned to what shaped your learning and how you use that in your everyday life. However, like all generations outside of the Millennial Generation, you have been assigned the role of understanding today’s technology. Having this knowledge is easy for those that grew up with the technologies – the Millennial Generation. It’s not so easy for others.

However, to best integrate with this new, technology-crazy generation, we must start to understand what’s important to the Millennials. It’s time to ask – ‘which generation are you really a part of?’

By taking the quiz¹ below and assigning the appropriate value to each, you will get an understanding of how you stack up against today’s Millennial Generation. Please assign the value indicated for each “yes” response and 0 for each no response. Cross reference your score with the chart at the bottom of this post. As you will find, it’s most likely time for you to invest in “Reverse Mentoring!”

Do you have and use your own personal web page, not Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.? (+2 points)

Have you ever used L8R, LYLAB, S’UP, ROFLMAO in a sentence? (+1)

Do you know the definition of ROFLMAO? (+1)

Do you CHAT often with your friends online? (+1)

Do you pay most (90%) of your bills online? (+1)

Do you visit YouTube more than 4x per month? (+1)

Are there any videos of you on YouTube? (+1)

Have you paid for and downloaded music from the Internet? (+1)

Do you know where to download free music from the Internet? (+2)

When giving a presentation, would you use PowerPoint? (-1)

Do you blog as a way to keep an online diary for your friends? (+1)

Do you communicate with friends on Facebook or similar? (+1)

Do you have a Twitter account and use that account? (+1)

Do you know what an Emoticon is and have you used one? (+1)

Do you use your cell phone for more than just a phone? (+1)

Do you prefer to text someone rather than email or call them? (+1)

Do you send at least 100 text messages per month? (+1)

Do you send at least 1000 text messages per month? (+2)

Do you text your Mom or Dad (son or daughter); do they text you back? (+1)

Scoring:

0 – 7 point: Baby Boomer

8 -14 points: Generation X

15 or over: Millennial

Source: quiz inspired from http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/25/what-generation-are-you-part-of-really-take-this-test/

Toasting a First Lady

The Power of Speech

Addressing Thank You Notes to Health Care Givers

Tea Drinkers’ Don’ts

The Multi Generational Workplace/Test

Company Profile

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