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Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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Holiday House Guest Etiquette

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Holiday House Guest Etiquette

The perfect house guest.

If you happen to be a guest, even a family guest at holiday time, here are some guidelines that will help you be a considerate and perfect house guest and get invited back.

Be on time.

Arrive on the appointed date. Don’t arrive earlier or stay later than the dates agreed upon. And don’t bring any extra people with you.

Bring a gift

Bring a small hostess gift. A gift of food, wine or something that can be used during your stay or be saved after you have gone is considerate. If your stay is lengthy, offer to take your hosts out to dinner at some point during your visit.

Leave Fido at home.

Leave your pets at home. Asking to bring pets can cause a lot of confusion and extra stress for the host. If they do insist and say it’s okay, then feel free to bring Fido along.

Don’t expect to be waited on.

Don’t expect to be waited on. Your hosts are not your servants and you should be prepared to help out by making your bed daily, keeping your clothes and personal items together and out of the way and leaving the bathroom picked up.

Be helpful.

Do offer to help in the kitchen with food prep and cleaning up. Your host may decline your offer, but your willingness to help will not go unnoticed.

Dress accordingly.

Ask about the schedule of events during your stay. If there are outings or sporting events planned be sure to be prepared with the expected attire so you will be appropriately dressed.

Be prepared to entertain yourself.

Allow for some down time. Don’t expect to be entertained every minute of every day by your host. Finding time to do some things on your own can be a welcome respite for your host.

Follow the rules.

Follow the house rules. If the host retires at a certain time, consider retreating to your room instead of staying up all night watching TV. And don’t expect to sleep until noon when the rest of the house is up early and ready to go for the day.

Unplug!

Unplug. Avoid being on your phone or electronic devises constantly in front of others, especially at the dinner table. If you have to check messages and take calls, excuse yourself and find a quiet place to do that.

Maintain a sense of modesty.

Bring a robe. You may have to share a bathroom that is down the hall. And if acceptable, you may want to wear one at breakfast. However, if everyone else is dressed at the table, I recommend dressing for breakfast.

Be reasonable with dietary requests.

Don’t make unreasonable dietary demands. If you have special dietary needs, be prepared to bring some of your own food or pick another time to visit.

Leave things in good shape.

Strip your bed and gather dirty towels the day you leave. Some hosts may not want you to bother, but offering is appreciated.

Send a proper thank you.

Do send a handwritten thank you note or a gift after your visit.

All of these suggestions demonstrate proper Holiday House Guest Etiquette.

How to Help Grieving Friends at the Holidays

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 Giving a helping hand to another

How to Help Grieving Friends at the Holidays…
Anyone who has lost a loved one, whether it be a parent, spouse or child, will tell you that the first year is very difficult. Coming up on all of the “firsts” that first year can be very painful and most people are acutely aware of their loved one’s absence. And of course, the holiday season can be particularly painful. All of their traditions are now punctuated with a blank space where their loved one would have been. Doing all of the things that they used to do, for some may be a comfort, but for others, they may feel the need to do something completely different than in years past.

One thing that could contribute to the painfulness of their situation may be the holiday cards that they receive from friends and family members. Those cheery cards with all of the family photos and the Christmas letters telling them of what a wonderful year your family has just had may be very hard for them to open. Now, I am not suggesting that your ignore them at this time, but consider changing your approach on how you send your greeting to them.

How about sending a personal note letting them know that you are thinking of them in a special way and that you are remembering their loved one, too. Saying something nice about their loved one will never get old. They know the rest of the world is moving on, but they are still actively grieving. A cheery “Merry Christmas” probably isn’t going to seem very merry to them. Wishing them peace and comfort would seem more appropriate.

It will take you more time to write out a special note, but you probably won’t have too many of those to do and the impact it will have for your friends will be worth it.

Also, don’t expect a holiday card from them. Sending out cards with just one name on them may be too sad for them…for others, not. But what grieving people need most from friends and family is understanding and support, not judgment. So, reach out and lend your support.

Christmas Card Etiquette

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The holiday season is a time when many individuals and businesses send out greeting cards to friends, family members and clients. These cards can bring people on your list up to date on your family and company events over the past year. And this can be a way  to express thanks and appreciation.  However there are some rules of etiquette that should be observed:

  • Hand addressing adds a very personal touch.
  • Use correct titles such as Mr. & Mrs. or Ms., etc.
  • Add a salutation in your own handwriting, as well as, a personal signature even if your cards have pre-printed signatures.
  • A personal line or two in your handwriting lets someone know you took time to think specifically about them.
  • Send “happy holiday” cards to people of non-Christian faiths.
  • If you are sending e-cards be sure they go to the people who use e-mail regularly. Otherwise, a “real” card may be in order for those non techies.

If a Christmas letter is part of your tradition there are some things to keep in mind when writing it:

  • Keep the letter to one page.
  • Be careful not to sound like a braggart. A line or two about each family member is enough.
  • Don’t talk about money; having it or not having it.
  • Give general information. Serious information, like illnesses and deaths should be shared in another correspondence. No need to give the results of your colonoscopy in the holiday newsletter!

A yearly newsletter can chronicle your family events, but remember, your info is probably not as fascinating to others as it is to you. Less is more!

Company Profile

Founded in 1999, the mission of Professional Courtesy and Karen Hickman is to present programs of the finest quality with the highest degree of professionalism.

The purpose of the seminars and programs is to enable professionals, executives, and individuals to conduct business in diverse cultural arenas with ease.
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