A Conversation with Robert Hickey, Deputy Director of  The Protocol School of  Washington.

It is such a pleasure having Robert Hickey, Deputy Director of The Protocol School of Washington as my guest blogger. I met Robert in 1999 when I took my first class at The Protocol School of  Washington. He taught marketing and how we could best promote ourselves as “ etiquette/protocol” consultants. Since that time he has become Deputy Director of PSOW and written his book, “ Honor and Respect…the Official Guide to Names, Titles and Forms of Address,”  a book I recommend as a staple in everyone’ s library. Robert is the consummate gentleman, as well as, a tremendous resource. Be sure to check out his blog at www.formsofaddress.info/FAQ.html Thank you again, Robert for taking the time to respond to my questions and share your expertise with my readers. I do appreciate it.

Robert, would you please share a little about your background and how you got involved with The Protocol School of Washington?

I have been teaching at the Protocol School of Washington (PSOW) since 1988. I was teaching graphics at George Washington University part-time, but my full-time position was as art director at Acropolis Books in Washington, DC. There, I met Dorothea Johnson in the mid 80’s when she arrived as the author of “Entertaining and Etiquette For Today.” At that time she was teaching American diplomats, military attaches, and their spouses how to attend the diplomatic events in their new positions at embassies around the world. She was also offering programs to business executives. Even in the 1980’s she had her feet planted in both worlds. Interested in what she was doing, I went to see her present one of her public programs, and I decided that Dorothea Johnson was one fascinating person. A couple of years later I had moved on and had my own advertising agency specializing in speakers and trainers, and she contacted me about helping her set up a train-the-trainer program. She had fantastic material, and was, of course, a true expert on both etiquette and protocol. I repurposed her material so anyone could pick up the curriculum and run with it: lesson plans, training manual, workbooks, slides, scripts, and a marketing plan to fill up their own classes. When the dates for the first training arrived she asked if I would come and teach some sections to give her voice a break. I was not an etiquette expert, but I knew how to teach and was very familiar with all her material. I presented parts of that first training and have continued teaching for the PSOW ever since.

What is your role at the PSOW and has it changed since the inception of the school?

Although in the beginning I taught portions of the etiquette program, it soon became apparent the trainees wanted marketing and public relations ideas so they could go back to their communities and get their own businesses started. Dorothea altered the course so I could present a segment on “how to market yourself as an etiquette consultant.”

Was the PSOW started out of a recognized need for etiquette/protocol skills in the corporate world?

When Dorothea taught the American diplomats, military attaches, and their spouses how to succeed abroad, the concept of average Americans entering the international arena was new. Industry giants had expanded overseas but few mid-level executives had conducted international business. When the PSOW was founded it was her idea to prepare Americans to be both savvy business persons and to be prepared for international opportunities.

How many trainers have finished your programs over the years?

There are more than 3,000 graduates in 45 countries. Many are what you would think of as trainers — but not all. There are many different ways graduates use PSOW training. It’s perhaps predictable that there are many graduates in the worlds of politics, government and the armed forces. But the interest by corporate business has been inspiring: advertising, aerospace, communications, computers, construction, entertainment, finance, hospitality, human resources, insurance, retail sales, etc. Wherever there are people interacting there is an interest in making those interactions go more smoothly!

Has the curriculum changed over the years?

Since the basics were always on universally accepted forms of behavior and protocol, the fundamentals are the same. Dorothea taught through activities and exercises, so the activities and exercises are constantly updated and the principles are the same. But the way seminars are presented has changed. In the beginning trainees got a set of slides, a place setting of china and flatware! When Pamela Eyring began the Protocol Officer Training, she incorporated my book, “Honor & Respect” with a class on names, titles and forms of address.

Who is the typical student at PSOW?

The typical student was once an entrepreneur who loved etiquette and wanted to teach what he or she loved. Those students still come, but today we also get more students who are sent by their companies to deliver in-house trainings to improve the productivity and image of their colleagues.

Do you see a shift to a more civilized world?

More people now realize that it is they who need to adapt their habits, actions, and communication styles depending on the circumstance and others present. Talk to kids today, and while they know they live in America, they think they are citizens of the planet. They are interested in the world and its cultures in a different way than our parents. That’s a shift in thinking. I don’t know if that’smore civilized or not, but it is a new awareness.

Your book, “ Honor & Respect…The Official Guide to Names, Titles, & Forms of Address” has been a “ must” reference in my library. How did the book come about?

In the late 1990s I had an idea for a reference book on titles and forms of address. There was a book that included some information on high government officials, but there was nothing similar to what the British have such as Debrett’s Correct Form. I am fascinated by cultures and being raised in Washington D. C. I’d always had interaction with military, elected officials and diplomats and thought how their hierarchies were reflected in their forms of address was interesting. I proposed to Dorothea we write it together. She thought it was an excellent idea. But, she had another idea: she was too busy running the school, why didn’t I write the book as my own book, but do so under the umbrella of PSOW? I worked on the book for seven years. The research was endlessly interesting. I learned so much about different religions, organizations, and foreign countries. There really were not many printed sources: that’s why my acknowledgements are 17 pages of small type.

What has been the craziest question you’ ve been asked on your Blog?

How to list a deceased hostess on an invitation.

I teach in the medical arena a great deal and find that today’ s health care workers are very familiar in addressing patients. How do you feel about the general familiarity in our culture today?

Karen, I should ask this question of you! I am interested to hear what you have to say! But, that said, it goes back to realizing one needs to adapt his or her communication style depending on the circumstances and the others present. Initiating the conversation on the formal side, then allowing the other person to invite more familiarity, is an effective way to acknowledge the hierarchy and serious nature of a situation. Allowing the other person the power to control how they are addressed is a good way to build trust and rapport.

What is in your library?

My newest addition is United States Protocol: The Guide to Official Diplomatic Etiquette by Ambassador Mary Mel French. Ambassador French was the Chief of Protocol during the Clinton Administration and has written an up-to-date reference about how protocol is practiced at The White House today. Perhaps the most interesting section is a moment-by-moment description of what one experiences as a guest at a White House State Dinner.

Thank you, Robert for taking the time to answer these questions. I do appreciate it. It has been such a pleasure knowing you over the years. I wish you continued success at The Protocol School of Washington.