Questions You Should Never Ask
While at a social event recently I bumped into a woman I had not seen in a number of years. As often happens, our discussion got around to etiquette and rude behavior. She told me that when she was pregnant for one of her children (who are now grown) someone asked her if her pregnancy was planned. She said she was dumb stuck and very offended. So offended, she has never forgotten the incident.
This started me thinking of some of the questions people ask, not intending to be rude, but are.
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How old are you?
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You only have one child, do you intend to have others?
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Why don’t you have any children?
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Was your pregnancy planned?
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How much weight have you lost?
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How much weight have you gained?
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You look tired, are you?
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How much money do you make?
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What did you pay for that?
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Are you pregnant?
All of these questions fall into the category of personal and private decisions, for an individual or a couple…decisions that are private unless they choose to offer the information. Let that be your guide before you ask a question and insert your foot.
What are some of the questions you’ve been asked that offended you?
Our children are adopted and I would be asked why the birthmom placed their baby in our home. I would tell them in a nice way that it was none of their business to know. It’s really quite unbelievable.
Maria, thank you for your contribution to the list of rude questions. Yes, quite unbelievable what some people will ask.
On another note regarding adopted children…some of my friends have complained about people referring to their”adopted” children and their “real” children, suggesting the adopted children were not as “real” as their others.
I can relate to some of those rude questions Karen.
I wonder if sometimes an internal comment is expressed as a question. I was asked more than once if I was a good basket ball player. Interestingly, this was asked by men shorter than I.
Someone, glancing at my feet in sandals, one asked if I was a good swimmer. I wanted to say (but didn’t) “they be large but they’re feet, not flippers!”
I came to laugh at both comments. They are more revealing about the other person.
I agree, Suzanne. I do think things are out people’s mouths before they have had a chance to filter the comment or question.
I have two tall nieces and they used to get…”my you are big girls aren’t you.” They came to hate that term.