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Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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You are here: Home / Archives for dining etiquette

Office Christmas Party

December 4, 2014 by procourtesy

Business group people in santa hat at Xmas party.
Office Christmas Party…how to attend with style.
Corporate holiday parties can be stressful and unappealing for some people in an organization. However, you may be committing a huge faux pas and sabotaging your chances for advancement by not attending. Attending shows you are a team player. It is the opportunity to get to know those you don’t know well or have time to chat with during your regular business hours. And it is a chance to meet some of the spouses and significant others in your co-workers’ lives.

It is a bad idea for an employee not to participate, but an even larger mistake for a boss not to show up, without a very good reason. Not attending sends the message that bosses don’t really care about their employees and that they set themselves above those who work for them — a huge insult in my book. And if that is the message that the employees take away from their absence, it can damage the employees’ perception of how much they feel they are valued and how hard they want to work for the company. Corporate cultures and attitudes start at the top.

So, here are some tips to get you through the party and make it more enjoyable for everyone.

  • Be sure to respond to the invitation and let the planners know whether you are bringing your spouse or a guest, only if they are included in the invitation.
  • Dress for the event. This may be the time to jazz it up a bit with your attire, but be careful not to get too sexy.  That plunging neckline may not be forgotten on Monday morning. Ditch your jeans…dressing appropriately shows you care.
  • If you bring your spouse or a guest, be sure to introduce him or her to your coworkers.
  • Mingle! This is a perfect time to meet others in the company you don’t usually have the opportunity to see.
  • If you are one of the bosses, circulate and don’t just hang with the other bosses.
  • Pace yourself when it comes to alcohol consumption. You don’t want to be the topic of conversation on Monday morning.
  • If a meal is involved and you are ordering off a menu, go middle of the road with price. Ordering the most expensive thing on the menu can look as if you are taking advantage.
  • Thank your hosts upon leaving and send a handwritten thank-you note the next day.

So when that invitation arrives for the company party, say yes to going. Happy holidays!

Filed Under: Office Holiday Party Tagged With: business etiquette, dining etiquette, etiquette expert, holiday etiquette, Karen Hickman, office xmas party, Professional Courtesy, professional dress

Real Thanksgiving Etiquette

November 26, 2014 by procourtesy

Happy Thanksgiving table place setting

Real Thanksgiving Etiquette…the Reason for the Holiday

As we all gather together with our families this Thanksgiving, be mindful of the important things that bring us together and sustain us throughout the year.

While it is important to be well-mannered and know how to navigate the silverware on the table, there are larger things behind all of the rules. Consider focusing on those things this Thanksgiving.

  • Be respectful of the generations in your family.

  • Be considerate of your host.

  • Be willing to help and share.

  • Be present and a participant in conversation at the table.

  • Be willing to “disconnect” from your technology.

  • Be kind.

  • And most of all, Be Thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Blessing to you all. Safe travels.

Filed Under: dining etiquette, Uncategorized Tagged With: dining etiquette, etiquette expert, family, holiday etiquette, Karen Hickman, Professional Courtesy, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving etiquette

Menus and Place Cards

May 9, 2014 by procourtesy

Menus and Place Cards

If you are having a wedding or special event, consider doing menu cards featuring your menu. They can become a lovely keepsake for you and your guests. Menus also let your guests know what is being served and in multi-course meals, menus help you pace your eating. Be sure to put the date and any other notable information on the menu.

Place cards are also another nice touch for dinners and celebrations.

Here is the menu and place card that I had done for the special dinner  my husband and I hosted for former First Lady, Barbara Bush, when she was visiting our town. She was kind enough to sign everyone’s menu.

Mrs. Bush said that at State dinners, the guests at each table often signed each other’s menus. If it was good enough for the White House, I thought it would be a nice touch at our dinner.

A friend did the beautiful art work on all of the menus and name cards and I then had a calligrapher do the printing on them. I had one menu for each couple and of course, one for anyone attending as a single. It was a memorable dinner and all of our guests went home with a lovely keepsake of the evening …plus a photo with Mrs. Bush, at her suggestion. She was a very gracious guest.

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Filed Under: dining etiquette Tagged With: Barbara Bush, dining etiquette, etiquette expert, Karen Hickman, menus and place cards, place card etiquette, table etiquette

Physicians Need Good Table Manners

April 14, 2014 by procourtesy

Physicians Need Good Table Manners
A few years ago I was engaged by the director of a medical residency program in my community to teach the program residents table manners. Now, you may wonder why medical residents need to know how to navigate a dining table gracefully. But good table manners are a must for professionals in any arena.

The director of the program stated that she felt some of the residents were lacking in good table manners and that this could be a huge turn off for potential candidates considering the program. The senior residents did a lot of interviewing and answering questions of the medical students considering this program, over a meal. If a certain level of sophistication wasn’t displayed she was concerned that the program would lose people to more metropolitan areas that were perceived to be more sophisticated and have more to offer.

I couldn’t agree more with her line of thinking, but not only interviewing potential people for a residency program…consider the residents who are being interviewed for jobs in medical groups after they finish their training. Many of those interviews are conducted over a meal. Poor social skills may be a liability, in spite of technical skills.

Also, physicians participate in lots of board and committee meetings that involve meals. Being the guy who is splayed all over the table acting like it is his last meal is a real turn off.

So, along with knowing how to handle a scalpel, knowing how to manage a knife and fork gracefully, will be to any physician’s advantage.

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Here are some of my top dining tips:

  1. Assess the table and pause before picking up any silver. Wait for your host or hostess or senior person at the table to start the meal.
  1. Open your hands, palms up. Place the knife and fork on the open hands. Let half of the handle rest on the palm of each hand; turn the implements over and leverage the knife and fork with your index fingers.
  1. Eating in the American or Continental fashion is acceptable in America today.
  1. Don’t gesture with your knife and fork.
  1. Cut one bite at a time.
  1. Put napkin on lap to unfold. When leaving the table temporarily, place the napkin on the chair. At the end of the meal, place napkin to the left of plate.
  1. The soup spoon is held like a pencil.
  1. Soup is spooned away from you toward the center of the soup plate. Sip off the side of the spoon.
  2. The soup plate may be tipped away from you in order to fill the spoon with the last sips of soup.
  1. Do not blow on soup or stir it if it is too hot. Skim off the top or wait until soup cools.
  1. Refrain from putting crackers in your soup when out or at a formal meal.
  1. The soup spoon may rest in the soup plate when finished or in between bites. The spoon rests on the saucer when it comes in a cup.
  1. When encountering a multi-course meal with multiple pieces of flat ware and you are questioning what fork to use first, start from the outside and work in toward the plate.
  1. Solids are on the left of your dinner plate, such as, bread and butter plate and liquids are on the right.
  1. Break bread in bite size pieces and butter one bite at a time over the bread and butter plate.
  1. Pass food to the right. If you start the food, take your portion when it comes back around to you.
  1. Taste your food before seasoning it.
  1. When someone asks for the salt, pass both the salt and pepper in anticipation of their need. Set it on the table in front of them and let them pick it up.
  1. Keep personal items such as; purses, glasses, cell telephones, etc. off the table. Purses should stay on your lap or under the chair.
  1. Refrain from putting on make-up, combing hair, picking teeth, blowing nose vigorously at the table. “If you do it the bathroom, don’t do it at the table.”
  1. If someone offers a toast to you do not drink to yourself.
  1. When offering a toast, remember to be appropriate for the audience and be brief. It’s a toast not a roast.
  1. If in doubt about what to do, watch someone at the table who knows. It can prevent an embarrassing situation.
  1. When leaving the table temporarily do not announce where you are going; just say, “Excuse me.”
  1. Chew with your mouth closed. Take small bites to avoid talking with food in your mouth.
  1. Try a little of everything presented unless you are allergic to a certain food.
  1. Don’t talk about food likes and dislikes at the table.
  1. Maintain good posture at the table. Keep arms and elbows off the table.
  1. Don’t push your plate away from you when finished eating and wait for everyone to finish before plates are cleared.

Reproduction of this material without prior authorization from Professional Courtesy, LLC is strictly prohibited.1/20/2014

 

Filed Under: medical manners Tagged With: dining etiquette, dining for business, etiquette expert, Karen Hickman, medical manners, physicians and manners, Professional Courtesy

How to Eat Pasta

April 3, 2014 by procourtesy

Italian pasta spaghetti on fork on black background

How to eat Pasta
There is a debate about how to eat pasta, even among etiquette experts. I have seen both methods listed as “correct” in American etiquette books. And I, too, have seen both methods of eating spaghetti while dining with others. And I am not offended when people use the bowl of the spoon to twirl the strands of pasta. However, if you were in Italy or asked an Italian how to eat long strands of pasta, he or she would tell you the only correct way is to eat it with a fork only. Italians consider eating pasta with a fork and a spoon for children, amateurs or people with bad table manners. So, it is up to you as to how you eat your pasta; the American way, with a spoon and fork, or the Italian way, with only a fork. Or consider the old adage, when in Rome do as the Romans do.

If you are going to use the fork only method, pull a few strands of pasta to the side of the plate or edge of the pasta bowl and twirl the strands around the tines of the fork, with the fork tines perpendicular to the plate, and then convey the pasta to your mouth. You may want to have your napkin poised and ready to collect any errant drops of sauce from dropping on your clothes. Bibs are a no-no when eating pasta, unless you are a child. And you would not cut the pasta in polite company.

It is important to gauge when and with whom you will be eating pasta. If you can’t eat it with confidence and without getting it all over yourself, choose something else to order — you may make a better impression.

t way is to eat it with a fork only. Italians consider eating pasta with a fork and a spoon for children, amateurs or people with bad table manners. So, it is up to you as to how you eat your pasta; the American way, with a spoon and fork, or the Italian way, with only a fork. Or consider the old adage, when in Rome do as the Romans do.

If you are going to use the fork only method, pull a few strands of pasta to the side of the plate or edge of the pasta bowl and twirl the strands around the tines of the fork, with the fork tines perpendicular to the plate, and then convey the pasta to your mouth. You may want to have your napkin poised and ready to collect any errant drops of sauce from dropping on your clothes. Bibs are a no-no when eating pasta, unless you are a child. And you would not cut the pasta in polite company.

It is important to gauge when and with whom you will be eating pasta. If you can’t eat it with confidence and without getting it all over yourself, choose something else to order — you may make a better impression.

So, how do you eat your pasta?

Filed Under: dining etiquette Tagged With: dining etiquette, eating pasta, etiquette expert, Karen Hickman

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