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Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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You are here: Home / Archives for etiquette expert

The Perfect Introduction

July 15, 2014 by procourtesy

Art of Introduction | Professional Courtesy LLC

The Perfect Introduction
Are you one of those people who gets nervous when having to make introductions? Do you get sweaty palms worrying that you’ll forget someone’s name? Well, don’t be too hard on yourself, many people have anxiety about making “proper” introductions. But here are some simple formulas for introductions that can ease your anxiety

Introducing yourself is how you make yourself known to others. The best way to introduce yourself is to say, “Hello, I’m____________.” Be sure and give your first and last name. You want people to remember you.

In response to an introduction, saying “hi” or “hello” is not enough. Repeat the person’s name along with saying, “hello.”

Here are some more tips that can help you get comfortable with introductions:

  • It is your responsibility to introduce yourself at any function, if no one introduces you.
  • It is okay to say, “please help me with your name” if you have forgotten someone’s name. Don’t say “you don’t remember me do you.”
  • Don’t give yourself an honorific when introducing yourself to others such as Mr., Ms., Dr., etc.
  • In formal introductions the most important person’s name is said first regardless of gender. For instance,“Mr. Greater Authority, I would like to introduce “to you” Ms. Lesser Authority.
  • If you say “you to” you have reversed the order. Keep in mind that “U2” is an Irish rock band and it is incorrect.
  • “May I present to you” is used in very formal situations.
  • Less formal situations, “Ms. Smith I’d like to introduce Mr. Jones.
  • Do balance Introductions. If one person is introduced with an honorific, the other person should be, too.
  • Don’t tack on the term “my friend” to one of the names when introducing two people. It implies that the other person is not your friend.

If you are responsible for making introductions, do your homework and practice ahead of time, especially if it is a big event with distinguished guests.

 

Filed Under: honorifics, medical manners, professional faux pas, Uncategorized Tagged With: business etiquette, etiquette expert, introductions, Karen Hickman, meeting and greeting, Professional Courtesy

Sunglasses Etiquette

July 5, 2014 by procourtesy

Portrait of business woman in sunglasses and leather skirt

Sunglasses Etiquette
Sunglasses are more popular than ever and are a big fashion statement for many. Remember those large dark glasses Jacqueline Kennedy made famous? How about Audrey Hepburn in the movie, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” And then there were those iconic aviator style glasses that Tom Cruise wore in the movie, “Top Gun.”
Sunglasses. Photo for microstock
Sunglasses can be something people hide behind if they don’t want to be noticed and they can also offer an air of mystery about who’s behind those glasses.

Sunglasses also provide eye protection from harmful UV rays. These days, it is even recommended that children wear them.

However, there are some rules of courtesy that should be observed as to when not to wear them.

Don’t wear them at night. For one, it can reduce your ability to see, but it also can make you look like you are hiding something.

Take them off when you are indoors. Unless you have just had your eyes dilated or have another vision issue, sunglasses should come off when you go indoors. If you do have an eye issue, offer an apology for not removing your sunglasses if you are speaking with someone indoors. Wearing sunglasses indoors can be perceived as rude and disrespectful.

Remove them when you are conducting business. Eye contact is an important component to doing business. People want to see your eyes when they talk with you. If you are conducting business outside with a client, try moving into a shady area so you won’t be too bothered by the sun.

Take them off when being introduced to people outdoors. If you are being introduced to someone at a sporting event or outdoors anytime, do remove your glasses during the introductions. Eye contact is a courtesy and is an important nonverbal form of communication when meeting and greeting people. It also leaves a much better first impression.

Choose your style wisely. Choose your style of sunglasses to match what you do, especially if you wear them in professional settings. Save the outrageous and fancy styles for your time on the beach or by the pool.

Take them off for photos. Be sure to remove sunglasses when being photographed or if you are taking selfies.

Remove them if on TV. On the slim chance that you may be on TV some day, be sure to remove them. leaving them on will take away from your “celebrity” status.

So, as in so many other situations, when in doubt, err on the side of courtesy and take them off.

 

Filed Under: professional dress Tagged With: Audrey Hepburn, etiquette expert, fashion eyeware, Jackie Kennedy, Karen Hickman, sunglasses etiquette, Tom Cruise

Summer Jobs Do’s and Don’ts

June 4, 2014 by procourtesy

 

I co-owned a beautiful, high-end gift store for 10 years and enjoyed the experience very much. We had a great staff and people waiting in line wanting to work for us. Most of the staff was composed of mature women who just wanted a little time away from their usual routines and loved and appreciated beautiful things. However, in the summer months we often supplemented our staff with well-chosen, college students.

We had an active bridal registry and spent hours with our brides helping them choose just the right china, crystal, linens and more. So, to work for us required some knowledge or the willingness to learn, in detail, about the very beautiful things we sold.

Today, as we start the summer months I am reminded of those days and the number of young people who would come in the door wanting to know if we were hiring. Some of those young people looked great, impressed us with their maturity and looked like they might fit in. Those were the names I kept in a special file with detailed comments, in case we had an opening in the future for them.

Then, there were the young people who came in, with their friends, dressed in cut off jeans, chewing a wad of bubble gum, proceeding to ask if we had any openings. Needless to say, we did not. The way those young people presented themselves never got them past the front door, as far as we were concerned.

So, if you are seeking summer employment and popping into to businesses, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Don’t take your friends along if you are going into businesses and asking for a job.

  • Make sure you are well-groomed and dressed appropriately.

  • No cut-offs

  • No chewing gum

  • No sweat pants or exercise clothes

  • No low-cut or skimpy tops

  • No too short skirts

  • No shorts

  • No flip flops

  • No tank tops or bare midriff

If you get the job, be available and willing to work when asked. If you are always asking for time off or can only work a short period of time, maybe a summer job is not going to work out.

Many summer jobs can turn into great opportunities later on. Take advantage of working with people who can teach you a few things.

Happy job hunting!

 

Filed Under: job interviews Tagged With: etiquette expert, interview do's & don'ts, job etiquette, Karen hickamn, summer job dress, summer jobs, teen jobs

Menus and Place Cards

May 9, 2014 by procourtesy

Menus and Place Cards

If you are having a wedding or special event, consider doing menu cards featuring your menu. They can become a lovely keepsake for you and your guests. Menus also let your guests know what is being served and in multi-course meals, menus help you pace your eating. Be sure to put the date and any other notable information on the menu.

Place cards are also another nice touch for dinners and celebrations.

Here is the menu and place card that I had done for the special dinner  my husband and I hosted for former First Lady, Barbara Bush, when she was visiting our town. She was kind enough to sign everyone’s menu.

Mrs. Bush said that at State dinners, the guests at each table often signed each other’s menus. If it was good enough for the White House, I thought it would be a nice touch at our dinner.

A friend did the beautiful art work on all of the menus and name cards and I then had a calligrapher do the printing on them. I had one menu for each couple and of course, one for anyone attending as a single. It was a memorable dinner and all of our guests went home with a lovely keepsake of the evening …plus a photo with Mrs. Bush, at her suggestion. She was a very gracious guest.

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Filed Under: dining etiquette Tagged With: Barbara Bush, dining etiquette, etiquette expert, Karen Hickman, menus and place cards, place card etiquette, table etiquette

My Guest Blogger, Rosalinda Randall

April 24, 2014 by procourtesy

My Guest Blogger, Rosalinda Randall…
em>I am so happy to have fellow etiquette consultant, Rosalind Randall as my guest blogger. She shares her advice on dealing with young adult children coming home from college and the challenges it presents on both sides. Her advice is practical and sprinkled with a sense of humor…something we all need when our kids come home after being away.

Thank you, Rosalinda, for sharing your expertise with my readers.

 

It’s Starts with the College Visit

Yesterday I ran into a mom, dad, and their daughter. They were leaving for the traditional college visit. While mom was rattling off the “did you remember to bring…” list. Dad, with keys in hand was rattling off the traffic situation, the need to gas up, and as calmly as possible, repeating, “Let’s go!”

This is the first step to the unanticipated changes that are inevitable once “Junior” leaves home; and returns.

Although it has been several years since our sons left for college, as I write this, my eyes are filled with tears. The pure sadness of watching our “babies” wave from their dorm room will stay with me forever, as will the joy of being a part of their journey into adulthood.

What does this have to do with etiquette? Respect, consideration, and tact, that’s what. And I don’t mean only from “Junior”.

It can be a difficult thing for a parent to take a step back from the “Because I said so!” and the “You should because…” mode. I’m not under any certain circumstances barring you from using them, only respectfully suggesting that you consider stopping it!

Now that “Junior” has had a taste of independence, experienced different points of view, perhaps forced to express and explain his/her viewpoints, communicated with professors, and has socially expanded his/her circle of friends, oh boy, they may have a whole new approach and outlook on a lot of things.

Don’t panic, Mom and Dad; it’ll be okay. Do more listening than debating.

How did you react when your parents wagged their finger in your face telling you that you were wrong? Hmm?

While I wholeheartedly believe in the, “my house, my rules” policy; I also believe that rules can be reevaluated?

Sometimes we are blinded by the joy and anticipation of “Junior” coming home from college; we tend to try to make things exactly like he used to like them, that we are blind-sided when he says, “Mom, I don’t eat cookies anymore…are these organic?” And you are left holding a plate of his favorite cookies wondering, “Who are you?”…what happened?

Here are a couple of tips from my book, “When Junior Comes Home from College”:

For Parents:

Tip 1: If Junior stays in one evening, don’t utter, “It’s about time.” Enjoy the time together.

Tip 2: Express interest in their latest fad. (I did not say “approve of.”)

For Junior:

Tip 1: Yes, you do have to adhere to the “house rules.” (It’s not your dorm room.) If you think your parents are too strict, discuss it.

Tip 2: No, you shouldn’t storm in and clear out all the 2% milk because you’ve discovered soy milk.

Mom and Dad, try a little tenderness, composure, and humor; it’ll help make this potentially tumultuous time into a mellow and joyful experience for both parents and young adults.

“When Junior Comes Home From College”. Now available on Amazon.com

Rosalinda Randall is a modern-day expert on tact and civility, using etiquette as a foundation. Based in Northern California, she has been spreading civility for over fifteen years.

Website: Your Relationship Edge

Facebook: Your Relationship Edge

Twitter: @rosalindatweets

Telephone: 650.871.6200

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Filed Under: manners Tagged With: college students, etiquette expert, manners at home, Rosalinda Randall, When Junior Comes Home From College

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