If anyone has had a serious illness or had a family member with a serious illness, I would imagine that you learned a few things during the experience. I certainly did when my late husband was ill.

Surviving a serious illness, the death of a spouse, child, sibling or parent changes your life forever. It often puts things in perspective and refocuses your priorities. It can also make you more sensitive to the struggles of others and may change your approach toward them.

Here are some tips that may help you be a better friend while trying to support your friends and family during difficult times.

• Become a good listener.
• Don’t ask too many questions.
• Keep their confidences.
• Avoid talking about other people with their same disease, especially if they did not survive.
• Don’t visit them in the hospital unless you know they want company or you have been invited to do so.
• Call the hospital to see if visitors are allowed.
• Don’t tell them or their family how terrible they look; they already know that.
• Instead of saying,”call me if I can do anything for you,” just do something.
• Helping with meals, household chores and the children will often do more than sending flowers.
• Send cards and e-mails regularly.
• Offer to help with their communications such as, e-mail, mail, phone calls, etc.

When people are experiencing difficult times it is often the small gestures that resonate with them and are remembered. Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness. Extending your hand and heart will be greatly appreciated.