Professional Courtesy, LLC

Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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You are here: Home / Archives for grief

Survey for Grief Book

January 21, 2014 by procourtesy

Survey for Grief Book

I am doing research for a book that I am writing on dealing with grief and the etiquette that goes with it. I’d appreciate your comments to the questions listed below. Feel free to answer as many or as few as you’d like. Also, feel free to add more comments separately. 

If you think of any other questions that you feel would be of value, please share those, too.

To respect your privacy feel free to email me your comments directly at karen.hickman@p/ The identity of anyone replying will be protected using a pseudonym and or changing details to protect your privacy. 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on a difficult subject. My goal in writing this book is to enlighten people on the best ways they can help friends and loved ones when they are experiencing loss in their lives.

1. If you have lost a loved one, what was your relationship to the deceased; a spouse, parent, child, sibling, grandparent or friend

2. How long has it been since your loved one died?

3. Was their death sudden or after a long illness? If sudden, what was the worst part for you?

 4. If they had an illness of any length, were you able to care for your loved at home?

 5. If you kept your loved one at home, did you have help? If yes, who?

 6. Did your loved one die in the hospital or another medical facility? If so, were the needs of your loved one met?

 7. Did the staff demonstrate compassion toward your loved one and your family?

 8. Did your family member’s physician and/or staff acknowledge the death of your loved one with a note or a funeral home visit?

 9. If yes, were you appreciative?

10. Has the grief process been more difficult than you had imagined?

11. Was there a point in time when you felt a shift and lessening of your grief? If so, how long after your loved one died was it?

12. Who were the most supportive people to you after your loved one died? What were the most helpful things people did for you

13. Who were the least helpful? Why?

14. What were some of the most surprising things people said to you after the death of your loved one?

15. What questions did you dislike answering.

16. Did you seek counseling? Was it a group or private counseling?

17. Was your counseling helpful?

18. Were there any particular books on grief related topics that you found helpful? If so, which ones?

19. Was there anything in particular that helped ease your pain? For instance, certain rituals, meditation, wearing an article of clothing of your loved one, etc.

20. If there was one piece of advice that you would give someone who is new to the grief process, what would it be?

Filed Under: Grief etiquette Tagged With: etiquette expert, funeral etiquette, grief, hospice, Hospitals, illness, loss, loss of a loved one, mourning, survey, sympathy notes

A Caring Hand and Heart

November 12, 2010 by procourtesy

 

If anyone has had a serious illness or had a family member with a serious illness, I would imagine that you learned a few things during the experience. I certainly did when my late husband was ill.

Surviving a serious illness, the death of a spouse, child, sibling or parent changes your life forever. It often puts things in perspective and refocuses your priorities. It can also make you more sensitive to the struggles of others and may change your approach toward them.

Here are some tips that may help you be a better friend while trying to support your friends and family during difficult times.

  • Become a good listener.
  • Don’t ask too many questions.
  • Keep their confidences.
  • Avoid talking about other people with their same disease, especially if they did not survive.
  • Don’t visit them in the hospital unless you know they want company or you have been invited to do so.
  • Call the hospital to see if visitors are allowed.
  • Don’t tell them or their family how terrible they look; they already know that.
  • Instead of saying,”call me if I can do anything for you,” just do something.
  • Helping with meals, household chores and the children will often do more than sending flowers.
  • Send cards and e-mails regularly.
  • Offer to help with their communications such as, e-mail, mail, phone calls, etc.

When people are experiencing difficult times it is often the small gestures that resonate with them and are remembered. Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness. Extending your hand and heart will be greatly appreciated.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: compassion, friendship, grief, hospital etiquette, illness etiquette, listening skills, support

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Founded in 1999, the mission of Professional Courtesy and Karen Hickman is to present programs of the finest quality with the highest degree of professionalism.

The purpose of the seminars and programs is to enable professionals, executives, and individuals to conduct business in diverse cultural arenas with ease.
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Business Email Etiquette                                                                                      The number of emails we all receive every day can be overwhelming, but they are a fact of life. Keeping that in mind, try to observe some of the basic email etiquette rules for emailing within the business world. Your email message may … Read More

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