How to Help Grieving Friends at the Holidays…
Anyone who has lost a loved one, whether it be a parent, spouse or child, will tell you that the first year is very difficult. Coming up on all of the “firsts” that first year can be very painful and most people are acutely aware of their loved one’s absence. And of course, the holiday season can be particularly painful. All of their traditions are now punctuated with a blank space where their loved one would have been. Doing all of the things that they used to do, for some may be a comfort, but for others, they may feel the need to do something completely different than in years past.

One thing that could contribute to the painfulness of their situation may be the holiday cards that they receive from friends and family members. Those cheery cards with all of the family photos and the Christmas letters telling them of what a wonderful year your family has just had may be very hard for them to open. Now, I am not suggesting that your ignore them at this time, but consider changing your approach on how you send your greeting to them.

How about sending a personal note letting them know that you are thinking of them in a special way and that you are remembering their loved one, too. Saying something nice about their loved one will never get old. They know the rest of the world is moving on, but they are still actively grieving. A cheery “Merry Christmas” probably isn’t going to seem very merry to them. Wishing them peace and comfort would seem more appropriate.

It will take you more time to write out a special note, but you probably won’t have too many of those to do and the impact it will have for your friends will be worth it.

Also, don’t expect a holiday card from them. Sending out cards with just one name on them may be too sad for them…for others, not. But what grieving people need most from friends and family is understanding and support, not judgment. So, reach out and lend your support.