Karen Hickman Archives - Page 10 of 13 - Professional Courtesy, LLC

Sunglasses Etiquette

July 5, 2014 by procourtesy

Portrait of business woman in sunglasses and leather skirt

Sunglasses Etiquette
Sunglasses are more popular than ever and are a big fashion statement for many. Remember those large dark glasses Jacqueline Kennedy made famous? How about Audrey Hepburn in the movie, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” And then there were those iconic aviator style glasses that Tom Cruise wore in the movie, “Top Gun.”
Sunglasses. Photo for microstock
Sunglasses can be something people hide behind if they don’t want to be noticed and they can also offer an air of mystery about who’s behind those glasses.

Sunglasses also provide eye protection from harmful UV rays. These days, it is even recommended that children wear them.

However, there are some rules of courtesy that should be observed as to when not to wear them.

Don’t wear them at night. For one, it can reduce your ability to see, but it also can make you look like you are hiding something.

Take them off when you are indoors. Unless you have just had your eyes dilated or have another vision issue, sunglasses should come off when you go indoors. If you do have an eye issue, offer an apology for not removing your sunglasses if you are speaking with someone indoors. Wearing sunglasses indoors can be perceived as rude and disrespectful.

Remove them when you are conducting business. Eye contact is an important component to doing business. People want to see your eyes when they talk with you. If you are conducting business outside with a client, try moving into a shady area so you won’t be too bothered by the sun.

Take them off when being introduced to people outdoors. If you are being introduced to someone at a sporting event or outdoors anytime, do remove your glasses during the introductions. Eye contact is a courtesy and is an important nonverbal form of communication when meeting and greeting people. It also leaves a much better first impression.

Choose your style wisely. Choose your style of sunglasses to match what you do, especially if you wear them in professional settings. Save the outrageous and fancy styles for your time on the beach or by the pool.

Take them off for photos. Be sure to remove sunglasses when being photographed or if you are taking selfies.

Remove them if on TV. On the slim chance that you may be on TV some day, be sure to remove them. leaving them on will take away from your “celebrity” status.

So, as in so many other situations, when in doubt, err on the side of courtesy and take them off.

Teach Respect and Give Respect

May 12, 2014 by procourtesy

Give Respect to Earn Respect words on a button to show the cycle of winning reverence, honor and trust of others

Teach Respect and Give Respect
I am always disappointed when I read snarky, rude responses and comments on social media sites. I think it is bad form and unprofessional. There are ways to comment and disagree without vulgar language and insulting tirades. The old maxim, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” is worth considering before you post a response that is public and has the power to come back and bite you. But there is nothing more distressing for me, as an etiquette and protocol consultant, than to see this bad behavior coming from other people who consider themselves professionals in our industry.

I have noticed over the past months, with the increase in organized groups on LinkedIn for etiquette trainers that there is a distinct lack of civility in responses from some who comment in some of those groups; something I think is quite distressing, especially for people who are suppose to be teaching others how to be more civilized.

Certainly, not all of the responders are to blame, but I do have trouble with other etiquette trainers calling people out in a rude fashion who have posted something they don’t agree with, especially when it is some point of minutia.

Since the rules of etiquette are suppose to be rooted in consideration for others, I find it difficult to tolerate those who would berate someone because they don’t agree with where they put the napkin when they leave the table temporarily. It is the kind of thing that gives etiquette trainers a bad name- suggesting that we focus on the rule and not the reason behind it. I think those of us who were well trained by reputable organizations, can agree to disagree, on a few points based on where we live and the cultures in which we teach. There are differences to be sure.

When I teach dining etiquette to any group I often say,”if you used the right fork, but were rude to the wait staff, you’ve missed my message.” It’s not about the fork!

So, here are some of my tips for people in our industry to make us more civilized and diplomatic:

Disagree diplomatically anytime, but especially on social media.

Be happy for other people’s successes in our industry.
Make friends with your competition. There is enough business out there for all of us.
If people share your info on social media, share theirs in return.
Find out who’s out there doing what you do. Networking is a good thing in any arena.
Give credit where credit is due.

But most of all, practice what we preach. Let’s get over ourselves, stop the pretense and exhibit some civility toward one another. If you can’t and don’t, I question whether you should call yourself a professional and whether you should align yourself with some of the other fine people out there doing some great things in our industry.

As for me commenting and joining those groups, I have stopped joining them and commenting…not because I don’t admire some of the people who have started the groups, but because I don’t want to be associated with some of those who comment in a way that I don’t admire.

Today, starts the beginning of National Etiquette Week so, let’s all get on board and demonstrate what we say we are all about.

You Don’t Have to Give Birth to be a Mother

May 10, 2014 by procourtesy

You Don’t Have to Give Birth to be a Mother

I am lucky to still have my mother in my life. She will be 87 next month and is still going strong, living very independently with my 97 year old father in their own home…this a real gift. Most of my contemporaries have lost one parent, or both. Or if they do have them, many are infirmed.

However, many people grow up without benefit of having a birth mother in the strictest sense. But there are those people who come into our lives to help raise us and rescue us when a birth mother is absent for various reasons. It could be an older sister, a loving aunt, a grandmother, a stepmother or just a devoted friend who mentors you over the years. And many of those women are childless who step into nurture us and care for us…that’s called mothering, too.

So, this Mother’s Day, remember all the wonderful women in your life who have stepped in to help raise you and guide you to where you are today.

Here is a photo of me with my mother, daughter and my granddaughter…four generations in 2006. How fortunate I am.

Who are the women in your life who have help care for you?

Happy Mother’s Day!

Menus and Place Cards

May 9, 2014 by procourtesy

Menus and Place Cards

If you are having a wedding or special event, consider doing menu cards featuring your menu. They can become a lovely keepsake for you and your guests. Menus also let your guests know what is being served and in multi-course meals, menus help you pace your eating. Be sure to put the date and any other notable information on the menu.

Place cards are also another nice touch for dinners and celebrations.

Here is the menu and place card that I had done for the special dinner my husband and I hosted for former First Lady, Barbara Bush, when she was visiting our town. She was kind enough to sign everyone’s menu.

Mrs. Bush said that at State dinners, the guests at each table often signed each other’s menus. If it was good enough for the White House, I thought it would be a nice touch at our dinner.

A friend did the beautiful art work on all of the menus and name cards and I then had a calligrapher do the printing on them. I had one menu for each couple and of course, one for anyone attending as a single. It was a memorable dinner and all of our guests went home with a lovely keepsake of the evening …plus a photo with Mrs. Bush, at her suggestion. She was a very gracious guest.

Administrative Assistant’s Day

April 21, 2014 by procourtesy

Showing Appreciation Everyday

In the U.S. this is the time we celebrate Administrative Assistant’s Day and week. Traditionally, a time for the boss to recognize their assistants for all of their hard work throughout the year. Many bosses will offer flowers, gift cards, and even a lunch out of the office. However you do it, let these hard-working people, who often have your back, know that you appreciate them.

Administrative Assistants are often the first impression for you as the boss, or for your entire organization…a very important job. So, don’t just remember them this week, let them know throughout the year how much you appreciate them.

I am always sad when I hear front line people say that they don’t think their bosses even know their name. A sad commentary, I think, in any arena.

Some ways to honor them are:

Send flowers, always a thoughtful gift and they brighten up the usual office atmosphere.
Provide gift cards for food, coffee, gas or a myriad of other things. The cards can be used or saved for something special.
Take them out to lunch. When the boss takes the time to go with their assistants for a meal out of the office, it says they are worthy of your company and your assistants will feel special.
Carry-in food if it is difficult to break away from your work situation in the middle of the day.
Send them for training out of the office. Getting away for some special, out of the ordinary, training can do a lot to boost the morale of your team members.
Most importantly, say, “thank you.” Something many people don’t hear very often during their work day.

Sunglasses Etiquette

Teach Respect and Give Respect

You Don’t Have to Give Birth to be a Mother

Menus and Place Cards

Administrative Assistant’s Day

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