Professional Courtesy, LLC

Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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You are here: Home / Archives for Karen Hickman

Thanksgiving Guest Etiquette

November 17, 2021 by procourtesy

Thanksgiving Guest Etiquette   

Thanksgiving starts off the holiday gatherings in earnest. It’s the time we eat drink and make merry and share good times with family and friends. It is also the time we gather at the dining room table for special meals. So if you have been invited for dinner at someone else’s house, there are some things to keep in mind so you can be the perfect guest. So, here’s some guest Thanksgiving etiquette.

Arrive on time.

Showing up late and keeping everyone waiting or causing the turkey to dry out
doesn’t win any points with your hostess.

Don’t come empty handed.

Even if your hostess has the meal all taken care of be sure you bring some sort of hostess gift. This is a good time to bring wine or a gourmet food item that the host can use at another time.

If you are assigned a dish, be sure you bring what you signed up for. Make sure it is ready to go in the oven or be served. This can eliminate needless confusion in the kitchen.

Sit where you are assigned.

If place cards are on the table don’t move them around to sit by someone of your choice.

Bring your best manners to the table.

If need be, brush up on your dining etiquette.

Don’t bring your technology to the table!

Bringing your phone to the table is saying that the people you are with aren’t as important as what’s coming through on your phone. Be in the moment!

Make sure your children are supervised and polite.

Holiday time is a good time to review or teach some good manners to your children, especially table manners.

Try a little of everything served.

You may find out that you like that oyster dressing.

Offer to help with the dishes.

Some hosts and hostesses want help cleaning up and some don’t, but it’s important to offer.

Send a thank you

A handwritten note or make a thank you call to your host and hostess. A lot goes into planning and hosting a big holiday meal. Make sure you acknowledge that.

Most of all…

Be sure and bring your good humor and be tolerant of those who may make you a little crazy at other times of the year. Be of good cheer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: holiday entertaining, hostess gifts, hosting holiday meals, Karen Hickman, Professional Courtesy, table manners, Thanksgiving Guest etiquette

Never Let Your Patients Hear You Complain

August 5, 2021 by procourtesy

Never Let Your Patients Hear You Complain

I’ve always thought it was poor form to let patients hear you complain. Here’s a story to support that idea.

A friend recently shared with me her experience visiting the emergency room with severe abdominal pain. She said that the department was very busy and patients were lined up waiting for beds to become available so they could be admitted. She too, was waiting to be admitted.

During her wait time she was attended to by multiple nursing staff members. She said that her care was okay, but the attitude of the nurses was not as professional as she thought it should be. She said several of them were “complainers.” They were complaining to her about their long hours, staff shortages and some even complained about things going on in their personal lives. This was not what she wanted to hear as she was waiting to be admitted and for test results to see if she needed surgery. She said she wondered if they were giving her their full attention and if her care was suffering. And aside from that, she really didn’t care or want to hear about their problems.

When patients hear healthcare workers complain, it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional, to be sure. Your workplace problems are not the patient’s problems. And what seem to be harmless enough comments may come back to bite you. To say your short-staffed or complain about administration can suggest to a patient that your organization is poorly run. And it may also lead to them thinking their care was sub-standard, especially if there is a bad outcome. That’s not what you want your patients to walk away with. It can also be the formula for litigation.

Your problems are not the patient’s problems. You should focus on the patient and giving them the best possible care, not on what’s going on in your life.

When at work, keep in mind that you are a reflection of your organization and you should be doing everything you can to help enhance their reputation.

Not complaining about work should apply to your social media platforms as well. Social media is a public venue and what you say there goes out to the world.

If you have complaints about work, take those complaints to your manger or supervisor and see what can be done to resolve the issues. That’s the professional way to do things!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: #work complaints, Karen Hickman, medical etiquette, medical manners, patient satisfaction, Professional Courtesy, service excellence

The Power of the First Impression

June 4, 2021 by procourtesy

The Power of the First Impression

The Power of the First Impression

How Long Does It Take?

There is power in making a first impression, they do not take much time to form.  The latest research on making a first impression tells us it’s an even shorter time than we originally thought; within a tenth of a second…a blink of an eye. We make a lot of decisions about someone, consciously and unconsciously in that brief amount of time. If it’s favorable, that’s a good thing and if it’s not favorable, we know, it is difficult to reverse a bad impression.

What Are we Deciding About Someone?

First impressions happen with the first point of contact with someone. That can be via e-mail, social media, other correspondence, on the telephone or in person. Two primary views we consider… is this person competent and is this person trustworthy…with trustworthy being the most important. Someone may be very competent at something but not very likable or trustworthy.

How Important Is Body Language?

Eighty percent of a first impression is formed based on non-verbal communication. That includes demeanor, (smiling or not) engagement with people (looking up from your electronic devices), eye contact, handshake, dress, body language and gestures.   Verbal communication is another important aspect of how we judge and are judged, especially in a professional setting. Your tone of voice, pattern of speech and your vocabulary are very telling.

What Factors Influence Our First Impression?

It is important to understand the factors that are relative to our making a judgment about someone are influenced by: age, race, gender, culture, language, physical appearance, accent, posture, voice, and biases.

Pause and consider the next time you meet someone for the first time or speak with them on the phone to be mindful of the impression you are forming and sending.

You never get a second chance, so focus on the power of the first impression!

Filed Under: First Impressions Tagged With: body language, communication skills, First impressions, good impressions, Karen Hickman, Professional Courtesy, silent language

International Tea Day

May 21, 2021 by procourtesy

International Tea Day

International Tea Day

According to The United Nations, May 21st is International Tea Day…celebrated annually.  Tea is the world’s oldest beverage and is consumed world wide, more than anything else. The study of tea is as deep and broad as the study of wine and has a fascinating history. Here are some International Tea Day facts and historical information to read…while you enjoy your cuppa!

The short version of the long history of tea

  • Almost four thousand years ago, the Emperor Shen Nung drank only boiled water when traveling around the country.  Unexpectedly a branch of a burning brush was blown into the already bubbling water and much to his surprise, the emperor noted a most pleasant taste and a beautiful aroma in the new beverage. His discovery was the wild tea plant Camellia Sinensi!
  • China’s oldest wild tea plant presently grows in Yunnan Province and is about 1700 years old
  • The oldest cultivated tree in China is over 800 years old
  • Small leaf tea comes from China as well as in Taiwan and Japan; Camellia Sinensis (sinensis means Chinese in Latin)
  • Camellia Assamica is a large leaf tea harvested from Assam in Northern India, the single biggest tea producing area in the world
  • Tea is harvested every week to 10 days for the duration of the growing season, March to December
  • Notably, tea is to China what wine is to France
  • “Ten thousand” is the Chinese description of too many teas to count
  • “Ten thousand” teas is their way of saying all of the tea in China
  • In fact, according to the Chinese there are six main categories of tea; green tea, white tea, yellow tea (unknown to Westerners), black tea, dark black tea, and scented or floral tea
  • Conversely green teas are harder to keep fresh and as a result the flat leaf was rolled into pellet shaped balls, Westerners know this as Gunpowder tea
  • Gunpowder leaves are picked any time, consequently it is not considered a tea of distinction
  • Interestingly, gunpowder tea is considered a favorite in Morocco and the Middle East, served with mint and lots of sugar
  • Heavier than other tea, for this reason you will need ½ the amount of dry Gunpowder leaf to brew a serving
  • Important to note that Chinese black tea did not appear until after Ming Dynasty in 1644AD
  • With good reason and favoritism, Keemun is considered the finest black tea in the world
  • Equally acclaimed, Yin Hao Jasmine is the top grade Jasmine tea
  • Jasmine Pearls have limited production and are very special; described as “only hearts colder than children could fail to be enchanted”
  • It has been said that receiving Jasmine tea pearls is like getting red roses…a very special recognition
  • Finally, tea was introduced in England in 1678 when the East India Company began to import tea commercially and gratefully afternoon tea in England is credited to Anna, Seventh Duchess of Bedford to remedy her “sinking spells”


I invite you to experience tasting new teas, Harney and Son’s Tea is one of my favorite resources.  I love that they have one named after my granddaughter, Catherine.

Owl in one of the Pooh books said,“Come along inside. We’ll see if tea and buns can make the world a better place.”

Drink and share some tea on International Tea Day, let’s make the world a better place.

 

Filed Under: International Tea Day Tagged With: 2021, Harney teas, International tea day, Karen Hickman, May 21st, Professional Courtesy, tea history tea etiquette

Flags at Half-Staff Etiquette

December 5, 2018 by procourtesy

Flags at Half-Staff Etiquette

This week our country is mourning the loss of a former president, George Herbert Walker Bush, who died last Friday. When our leaders die we as a country, seem to come together well to remember their life and accomplishments. And it also gives us a chance to witness the pomp and circumstance that is afforded a president of the United States when they die.

President Trump declared an official day of mourning today, the day of the funeral in Washington and all flags are being flown at half-staff out of respect. Those flags will remain at half-staff for 30 days. Being honored with flags at half-staff is reserved for a select few and at times has been confusing as to who orders the gesture. So, I have reprinted my column from the News Sentinel from March of 2016 when I was asked about the protocol for flags being flown at half-staff for first ladies when they die.

Here is that column…

March 18, 2016
Flag at Half-Staff Etiquette

Q. Karen, I noted that American flags were at half-staff in honor of former first lady, Nancy Reagan when she died. Is this usual? I don’t remember it happening in the past for other first ladies. Who decides when flags are to be flown at half-staff ?

A. There is no set protocol for funerals and ceremonies when a first lady dies like there is when a former or sitting president dies. Funerals for former first ladies are usually private affairs. But President Obama ordered American flags be lowered to half-staff, out of respect to Mrs. Reagan, at federal buildings, military posts, U.S. Naval vessels and diplomatic missions until sunset the day of her burial.

The same was done for Lady Bird Johnson when she died in 2007, but it was not done when Betty Ford died in 2011 or for Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis in 1994 or Pat Nixon in 1993. However, there was a 30 day period of mourning at the White House for Mrs. Nixon and Mrs. Kennedy when they died.

The order or “proclamation” of flags being lowered to half-staff is done at a time when the entire country is in mourning, as when a former or sitting president dies or there has been a national tragedy like 9/11. It is also ordered at times for other officials or foreign dignitaries. The order comes from the President of the United States.

In the event of the death of a former or sitting official of any state or territory of the United States, the governor of that state can order flags to be flown at half-staff on federal and other government buildings in that state for a designated period of time.

For anyone else to order flags flown at half-staff is technically, a breach of flag etiquette. The strict rules and codes are designed to insure proper respect for our flag.

The period of time that flags fly at half-staff is usually anywhere from a 30 day period for presidents to 10 days for vice presidents. It depends on the status of the person or persons who died.

There are other days of the year when flags are flown at half-staff. For instance, Memorial Day…flags are ordered to be flown at half staff from sunrise to noon on that day every year, to honor war heroes. Also, September 11, which is now designated as “Patriot Day and National Day of Service and Remembrance.”

The flag should be raised briskly to the top of the staff before being lowered to half-staff.

For more information on the rules and regulations for flying the American flag you can go to many web sites that list the official codes.

Filed Under: Flag at Half Staff Etiquette Tagged With: Death of a President, etiquette expert, flag etiquette, flags at Half Staff Etiquette, Karen Hickman, Mourning a President, President George H.W. Bush

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Founded in 1999, the mission of Professional Courtesy and Karen Hickman is to present programs of the finest quality with the highest degree of professionalism.

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Business Email Etiquette                                                                                      The number of emails we all receive every day can be overwhelming, but they are a fact of life. Keeping that in mind, try to observe some of the basic email etiquette rules for emailing within the business world. Your email message may … Read More

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