Professional Courtesy, LLC

Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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You are here: Home / Archives for Karen Hickman

Real Thanksgiving Etiquette

November 26, 2014 by procourtesy

Happy Thanksgiving table place setting

Real Thanksgiving Etiquette…the Reason for the Holiday

As we all gather together with our families this Thanksgiving, be mindful of the important things that bring us together and sustain us throughout the year.

While it is important to be well-mannered and know how to navigate the silverware on the table, there are larger things behind all of the rules. Consider focusing on those things this Thanksgiving.

  • Be respectful of the generations in your family.

  • Be considerate of your host.

  • Be willing to help and share.

  • Be present and a participant in conversation at the table.

  • Be willing to “disconnect” from your technology.

  • Be kind.

  • And most of all, Be Thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Blessing to you all. Safe travels.

Filed Under: dining etiquette, Uncategorized Tagged With: dining etiquette, etiquette expert, family, holiday etiquette, Karen Hickman, Professional Courtesy, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving etiquette

Guest Thanksgiving Etiquette

November 19, 2014 by procourtesy

 

Dining for Business and Pleasure

 

Thanksgiving starts off the holiday gatherings in earnest. It’s the time we eat drink and make merry and share good times with family and friends. It is also the time we gather at the dining room table for special meals. So if you have been invited for dinner at someone else’s house, there are some things to keep in mind so you can be the perfect guest. So here’s some guest Thanksgiving etiquette.

Arrive on time. Showing up late and keeping everyone waiting or causing the turkey to dry out
doesn’t win any points with your hostess.

Don’t come empty handed. Even if your hostess has the meal all taken care of be sure you bring some sort of hostess gift. This is a good time to bring wine or a gourmet food item that the host can use at another time.

If you are assigned a dish, be sure you bring what you say and that it is ready to go in the oven or be served so you don’t cause more confusion in the kitchen.

Sit where you are assigned. If place cards are on the table don’t move them around to sit by someone of your choice.

Bring your best manners to the table. If need be, brush up on your dining etiquette.

Don’t bring your technology to the table.

Make sure your children are supervised and well behaved at the table, too.

Try a little of everything served. You may find out that you like that oyster dressing.

Offer to help with the dishes.

Send a thank you note after the day .

Most of all, bring your good humor and be tolerant of those who may make you a little crazy at other times of the year. Be of good cheer.

 

Filed Under: dining etiquette Tagged With: etiquette expert, guest etiquette, hostess gifts, Karen Hickman, Thanksgiving etiquette

Ballet Etiquette, Part II

November 3, 2014 by procourtesy

ballet classes part 2
Ballet Etiquette, Part II
Thanks again to Lucia Rogers for contributing to my blog. As you will see in reading, she is passionate about dance and gives us some insight into how dance and the arts can enrich our lives. Here is some etiquette on attending a performance.

Attending a Ballet…
There is nothing like seeing a live performance; there is something very special about being there in the moment with the artists on the stage. It is live; no stop, rewind or redo….it is about being in the moment and hopefully being swept off your feet or taken to a different place while the dancers perform. I have seen my fair share of live performances but I’ll be honest in saying that I have spent far more time performing on stages rather than sitting in those plush seats!
We are heading into the holiday season and for many, a holiday tradition, is attending The Nutcracker. There are many versions that will grace stages all around the country as well as many other ballet classics and new works after the holidays. So here are a few tips to attending a dance performance and getting swept away…

Dress appropriately: Just like with any event the venue and subject will help you decide on what is appropriate to wear. A lot of companies are staying true to the traditional venue with classic ballets; however, many are incorporating a bit more casual series to their seasons. This is, in part, to hopefully expand who they reach by using more non-traditional settings and more contemporary repertoire. This has opened the doors to those who might not have attended in the past.
Be in the know: Dance usually does not have a dialogue so knowing what is going on beforehand will help in your understanding of the subject. Some ballets and works have a story and others are open to interpretations so the playbills usually have a wealth of information not only about the performance you are about to see, but also the dancers and their credentials. Some attendees also take this a little further and may do some research on the web about the dancers, music, company and/or performance before they attend. So allowing yourself plenty of time to arrive, mingle and get organized is encouraged. Doing this after the lights go down can often be a distraction to the artists as well as those around you. We would also hate for you to miss a special moment!
Appreciate the artists/choreographers: Artists-dancers, musicians and more have dedicated endless hours of work and this is their life and passion. There are always exceptions but as artists they don’t often go into this for the money, so showing your appreciation for their art is just one way of saying “thank you.” Applause for the conductor, dancers, choreographer, etc. are always welcomed at appropriate moments. Often times this is done for impressive technical movements and after pieces or sections. Dancers show their appreciation of the audience and their applause by a bow or curtsey, but there is nothing worse than to leave a stage as a dancer and the applause quickly fades or is gone. However, that is also something dancers have to be aware of so as to not take their sweet time after their dancing and ask too much of those watching.
Respect: All basic rules apply with respect. Respect to the venue and employees, respect to other attendees, and respect for the artists and the work that they do. With technology continually advancing the opportunity to record and take pictures can be done with such ease. This is great for our everyday life and experiences but for these live performances patrons are often asked to turn all electronic equipment off. This is not only to prevent any disruptions but also to prevent any pictures or videos being acquired illegally by an audience member due to copyright/trust/union agreements. This is becoming more and more of a problem so audience members respecting this request is very much appreciated. Many companies are selling or offer other options for those interested in photos or videos to remember the performance or dancers. It never hurts to see what might be available with your favorite company or artist!
The world of the arts and dance is so rich in history and has so many wonderful benefits; attending a live performance can be an enriching experience! As an artist I love nothing more than to share a piece of myself and become the role or character as it is an honor to perform for those who attend. The appreciation is more than you even know….My hope (as well as many other artists) is that you feel something or that you are taken along for a wonderful little journey in that hour or so. It is a very vulnerable yet exhilarating state that we put ourselves in, but I couldn’t imagine it any other way as true artistry and honesty comes from this. So check out the dance world; there are so many exciting things going on and continually evolving. There is something for almost every palate, so everyone should be able to find a performance they will enjoy!

Filed Under: etiquette, social skills Tagged With: attending a ballet etiquette, ballet etiquette, etiquette expert, Karen Hickman, Lucia Rogers, Professional Courtesy, Social etiquette, theater etiquette

Ballet Class Etiquette, Part I

October 27, 2014 by procourtesy

Open-Ballet-Class
Ballet Class Etiquette, Part I
Thank you to my guest blogger, Lucia Rogers, Business Project Manager at Fort Wayne Radiology. Lucia attended a recent seminar that I hosted and during our lunch I learned that Lucia has had a long interest and participation in ballet.In fact she teaches ballet. So, I was delighted when she accepted my invitation to write a post on Ballet Class etiquette and the etiquette of attending a performance.

Enjoy!


Taking an Open Ballet Class…by Guest Blogger, Lucia Rogers

We should consider everyday lost on which we have not danced at least once. – Friedrich Nietzsche

You know, everybody really dances whether they realize it or not….From reaching down to tie your shoes, to rising up to the tips of their toes for the top shelf, to waking up in the morning and stretching as we are getting in or out of bed. We all do it and dancers just take all of these everyday movements and refine them.

Ballet is an art that requires strength, grace, discipline and so much more. Dancers are athletes and there is an attention to detail and quality of movement that made me fall in love at first sight! Children and adults of all ages enjoy taking classes to help with coordination, strength, flexibility or just because they love to move.

From the beginning of man, movement and dance has been a form of expression. It was the 1600s in the Royal Courts where ballet was conceived and where the roots of this rich culture and traditions originated. As dancers, of course your facility and technique is your means to the end but there are two other big pieces in what makes a dancer; their artistry and etiquette. You can be the most brilliant dancer in the world but if you lack the qualities of discipline, etiquette and grace in your manners, it can prevent you from reaching your possible potential. Although the expectations are different depending on the setting, location, level and more… I thought I would touch on some basic tips for those interested in participating in an open ballet class. When I teach my little ballerinas I stress the importance of manners and behavior in the classroom just as much as I do the technique and artistry. For example, my dancers are encouraged to use “yes ma’am/sir” and “no ma’am/sir” when addressing adults.

Dress the part: You have to look the part to be the part, right!? Well, no tutus and tiaras yet. Although we all may not be nor want to be professional dancers; dancers usually have some sort of dress code. The dress code can differ depending on the style of dance and whether it is an academy class, company class or open class. However, the basics are still there. A leotard and tights are always a good base in an open ballet class, with your hair up and out-of-the-way (Classic ballet bun, very stylish these days) and pink ballet shoes. Less is more, so tighter fitting clothes is preferred to better see the lines you create with your body as well as taking off any extra jewelry or accessories that might distract or get in the way. Some that take an open class may also wear skirts or tighter fitting athletic wear as well. Don’t worry, no tutus or leotards for the guys- basic shirt and active pants/shorts (or men’s tights) with white or black ballet shoes are usually acceptable for an open ballet class. We will save the beautifully adorned costumes for your stage debut.

Timing: Life is all about timing and ballet class is the same. It is always nice to arrive early to stretch, find a barre spot or do whatever you need to do before class. A ballet class is set up in a specific way to warm up the entire body and prevent injury, so you don’t want to miss out on any of these combinations. Timing is also important when it comes to asking questions. Questions are encouraged and the best time to do this is before the combination to help clarify so you execute the combinations to the best of your ability.

Within the Studio: Our everyday manners are always important when it comes to the studio. The things we learn as children are of course important: listen, pay attention, be neat and clean, do what is asked, raise your hand with questions, respect others in the studio. When the teacher walks in the room to begin classes/rehearsals dancers often stand and are attentive and ready to begin. This shows the teacher you are focused and ready to do whatever is asked.

Teachers take time to create a lesson plan for their class as it usually has a theme or works toward a goal. Learning these combinations as they are given and doing your best to keep up with the speed and music are important. If you do find that you need to make modifications due to an injury or another reason it is always best to mention this to the teacher before class begins.

One thing to expect while taking class is to receive corrections. Most people think that corrections are a bad thing but really it is the opposite when it comes to ballet. My younger dancers struggle with this a bit at the beginning when they start the ballet curriculum as everything else that they deal with they work to be perfect and without corrections/mistakes. Of course we are always striving for perfection in dance but ultimately there is no such thing as being perfect. So the corrections help us push to our next level and limits. Corrections are a wonderful thing, don’t get discouraged by them, embrace them!

Another piece to remember is that there is seniority in the studio when it comes to dancers, often times less in an open class, but it is important to be respectful of those dancers who are more advanced or are regulars in the class. Some dancers/teachers are big on this and others are not (every dancer is different). Generally these dancers go toward the front when standing in center or going across the floor. Of course there are always exceptions, as some prefer to be in other spots in the room. In the same respect though, it is also important for a more experienced or regular dancer to be respectful and a good role model for others that are less experienced. In an open class this isn’t so much a concern but this is often something to be aware of in a company level or open advanced classes.

Reverence is when the dancers bow or curtsey for the teacher (and accompanist) at the end of a ballet class. This is a sign of respect for the work done within the studio and teaches the dancers to learn how to accept applause on the stage. Dancers then clap and form a single file line to thank both the teacher and the accompanist for the class.

Dance is so rich in tradition and the do’s and don’ts change depending on the setting, level and class. I could write on for pages about specifics depending on different situations, but I will save that for another time! Hopefully this helps you a bit more if you are ever interested in taking an open ballet class. The most important thing though is to let go and enjoy the movement and expression. Dancing really is like nothing else and what a great way to express and focus on your overall wellness. You are never too old to start something new, and who knows, you might just fall in love with it as I did at 3 years old!

Filed Under: Lucia Rogers Tagged With: ballet class etiquette, dance etiquette, etiquette expert, Karen Hickman, Lucia Rogers, Professional Courtesy

The Perfect Introduction

July 15, 2014 by procourtesy

Art of Introduction | Professional Courtesy LLC

The Perfect Introduction
Are you one of those people who gets nervous when having to make introductions? Do you get sweaty palms worrying that you’ll forget someone’s name? Well, don’t be too hard on yourself, many people have anxiety about making “proper” introductions. But here are some simple formulas for introductions that can ease your anxiety

Introducing yourself is how you make yourself known to others. The best way to introduce yourself is to say, “Hello, I’m____________.” Be sure and give your first and last name. You want people to remember you.

In response to an introduction, saying “hi” or “hello” is not enough. Repeat the person’s name along with saying, “hello.”

Here are some more tips that can help you get comfortable with introductions:

  • It is your responsibility to introduce yourself at any function, if no one introduces you.
  • It is okay to say, “please help me with your name” if you have forgotten someone’s name. Don’t say “you don’t remember me do you.”
  • Don’t give yourself an honorific when introducing yourself to others such as Mr., Ms., Dr., etc.
  • In formal introductions the most important person’s name is said first regardless of gender. For instance,“Mr. Greater Authority, I would like to introduce “to you” Ms. Lesser Authority.
  • If you say “you to” you have reversed the order. Keep in mind that “U2” is an Irish rock band and it is incorrect.
  • “May I present to you” is used in very formal situations.
  • Less formal situations, “Ms. Smith I’d like to introduce Mr. Jones.
  • Do balance Introductions. If one person is introduced with an honorific, the other person should be, too.
  • Don’t tack on the term “my friend” to one of the names when introducing two people. It implies that the other person is not your friend.

If you are responsible for making introductions, do your homework and practice ahead of time, especially if it is a big event with distinguished guests.

 

Filed Under: honorifics, medical manners, professional faux pas, Uncategorized Tagged With: business etiquette, etiquette expert, introductions, Karen Hickman, meeting and greeting, Professional Courtesy

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