Professional Courtesy, LLC

Karen Hickman specializes in Etiquette and Protocol Consulting and is based out of Fort Wayne, IN | TEL: 260-486-7758

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You are here: Home / Archives for Professional Courtesy

Loss and the Holidays

December 13, 2021 by procourtesy

Loss and the holidays

There’s no good time

to have a loved one ill or pass away, but the holiday time does seem to raise the emotional level for those dealing with a tough situation. And because of that, I think it’s important to treat those friends and family members with care.

Acknowledging the situation,

with a note or a card is the least invasive way to respond. It lets your friends know you are thinking of them, but doesn’t require a response from them. Just a note as simple as, “thinking of you at this difficult time” is adequate.

When you see the people in person,

let them lead the conversation. They may not wish to discuss their situation with lots of people or it may just be too emotional to talk about it…respect that and don’t ask a lot of questions. It’s okay to let them know you know about their loved one with again, something as simple as, “ I am thinking of you.” If they want to talk more they will do so. To not mention it can make you seem insensitive or not caring.

Offer help in specific ways. Ask if they could use some food or if you could run some errands for them instead of saying, “call if you need something.” Most people won’t call you and they don’t want another thing to do. If you are taking food, ask what they prefer. Sending a lot of desserts to people who don’t eat sweets isn’t very helpful. Making food that can be popped into the freezer can also be a huge help.

Be mindful of the “firsts.”

The first Christmas, the first birthday or the first anniversary without a loved one can be very difficult. And the yearly anniversary of losing someone is often an emotional day. Remembering these days with something as simple as a text message saying, “you’re remembering their loved one and them,” will mean a great deal. Consider making a note in your phone contacts with the special dates behind your friends name. It will then remind you when getting close to those days.

If you are sending out holiday cards,

your usual cheery letter about how great your year has been may not be what they want to hear. Consider sending something special and specific for them with a short note in it.

Do include the friends

who are grieving in invitations, but don’t push or be critical if they back out at the last minute. Grief is a day to day thing that can keep one off balance for some time. And if they do come, allow them to be sad or even teary. The last thing they need is people expecting them to be “cheery.” Remember, loss at the holidays is a very difficult time.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: etiquette expert, grieving during the holidays, how to help friends who are grieving, Karen Hickman, loss, loss and the holidays, Professional Courtesy

Thanksgiving Guest Etiquette

November 17, 2021 by procourtesy

Thanksgiving Guest Etiquette   

Thanksgiving starts off the holiday gatherings in earnest. It’s the time we eat drink and make merry and share good times with family and friends. It is also the time we gather at the dining room table for special meals. So if you have been invited for dinner at someone else’s house, there are some things to keep in mind so you can be the perfect guest. So, here’s some guest Thanksgiving etiquette.

Arrive on time.

Showing up late and keeping everyone waiting or causing the turkey to dry out
doesn’t win any points with your hostess.

Don’t come empty handed.

Even if your hostess has the meal all taken care of be sure you bring some sort of hostess gift. This is a good time to bring wine or a gourmet food item that the host can use at another time.

If you are assigned a dish, be sure you bring what you signed up for. Make sure it is ready to go in the oven or be served. This can eliminate needless confusion in the kitchen.

Sit where you are assigned.

If place cards are on the table don’t move them around to sit by someone of your choice.

Bring your best manners to the table.

If need be, brush up on your dining etiquette.

Don’t bring your technology to the table!

Bringing your phone to the table is saying that the people you are with aren’t as important as what’s coming through on your phone. Be in the moment!

Make sure your children are supervised and polite.

Holiday time is a good time to review or teach some good manners to your children, especially table manners.

Try a little of everything served.

You may find out that you like that oyster dressing.

Offer to help with the dishes.

Some hosts and hostesses want help cleaning up and some don’t, but it’s important to offer.

Send a thank you

A handwritten note or make a thank you call to your host and hostess. A lot goes into planning and hosting a big holiday meal. Make sure you acknowledge that.

Most of all…

Be sure and bring your good humor and be tolerant of those who may make you a little crazy at other times of the year. Be of good cheer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: holiday entertaining, hostess gifts, hosting holiday meals, Karen Hickman, Professional Courtesy, table manners, Thanksgiving Guest etiquette

Never Let Your Patients Hear You Complain

August 5, 2021 by procourtesy

Never Let Your Patients Hear You Complain

I’ve always thought it was poor form to let patients hear you complain. Here’s a story to support that idea.

A friend recently shared with me her experience visiting the emergency room with severe abdominal pain. She said that the department was very busy and patients were lined up waiting for beds to become available so they could be admitted. She too, was waiting to be admitted.

During her wait time she was attended to by multiple nursing staff members. She said that her care was okay, but the attitude of the nurses was not as professional as she thought it should be. She said several of them were “complainers.” They were complaining to her about their long hours, staff shortages and some even complained about things going on in their personal lives. This was not what she wanted to hear as she was waiting to be admitted and for test results to see if she needed surgery. She said she wondered if they were giving her their full attention and if her care was suffering. And aside from that, she really didn’t care or want to hear about their problems.

When patients hear healthcare workers complain, it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional, to be sure. Your workplace problems are not the patient’s problems. And what seem to be harmless enough comments may come back to bite you. To say your short-staffed or complain about administration can suggest to a patient that your organization is poorly run. And it may also lead to them thinking their care was sub-standard, especially if there is a bad outcome. That’s not what you want your patients to walk away with. It can also be the formula for litigation.

Your problems are not the patient’s problems. You should focus on the patient and giving them the best possible care, not on what’s going on in your life.

When at work, keep in mind that you are a reflection of your organization and you should be doing everything you can to help enhance their reputation.

Not complaining about work should apply to your social media platforms as well. Social media is a public venue and what you say there goes out to the world.

If you have complaints about work, take those complaints to your manger or supervisor and see what can be done to resolve the issues. That’s the professional way to do things!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: #work complaints, Karen Hickman, medical etiquette, medical manners, patient satisfaction, Professional Courtesy, service excellence

The Power of the First Impression

June 4, 2021 by procourtesy

The Power of the First Impression

The Power of the First Impression

How Long Does It Take?

There is power in making a first impression, they do not take much time to form.  The latest research on making a first impression tells us it’s an even shorter time than we originally thought; within a tenth of a second…a blink of an eye. We make a lot of decisions about someone, consciously and unconsciously in that brief amount of time. If it’s favorable, that’s a good thing and if it’s not favorable, we know, it is difficult to reverse a bad impression.

What Are we Deciding About Someone?

First impressions happen with the first point of contact with someone. That can be via e-mail, social media, other correspondence, on the telephone or in person. Two primary views we consider… is this person competent and is this person trustworthy…with trustworthy being the most important. Someone may be very competent at something but not very likable or trustworthy.

How Important Is Body Language?

Eighty percent of a first impression is formed based on non-verbal communication. That includes demeanor, (smiling or not) engagement with people (looking up from your electronic devices), eye contact, handshake, dress, body language and gestures.   Verbal communication is another important aspect of how we judge and are judged, especially in a professional setting. Your tone of voice, pattern of speech and your vocabulary are very telling.

What Factors Influence Our First Impression?

It is important to understand the factors that are relative to our making a judgment about someone are influenced by: age, race, gender, culture, language, physical appearance, accent, posture, voice, and biases.

Pause and consider the next time you meet someone for the first time or speak with them on the phone to be mindful of the impression you are forming and sending.

You never get a second chance, so focus on the power of the first impression!

Filed Under: First Impressions Tagged With: body language, communication skills, First impressions, good impressions, Karen Hickman, Professional Courtesy, silent language

International Tea Day

May 21, 2021 by procourtesy

International Tea Day

International Tea Day

According to The United Nations, May 21st is International Tea Day…celebrated annually.  Tea is the world’s oldest beverage and is consumed world wide, more than anything else. The study of tea is as deep and broad as the study of wine and has a fascinating history. Here are some International Tea Day facts and historical information to read…while you enjoy your cuppa!

The short version of the long history of tea

  • Almost four thousand years ago, the Emperor Shen Nung drank only boiled water when traveling around the country.  Unexpectedly a branch of a burning brush was blown into the already bubbling water and much to his surprise, the emperor noted a most pleasant taste and a beautiful aroma in the new beverage. His discovery was the wild tea plant Camellia Sinensi!
  • China’s oldest wild tea plant presently grows in Yunnan Province and is about 1700 years old
  • The oldest cultivated tree in China is over 800 years old
  • Small leaf tea comes from China as well as in Taiwan and Japan; Camellia Sinensis (sinensis means Chinese in Latin)
  • Camellia Assamica is a large leaf tea harvested from Assam in Northern India, the single biggest tea producing area in the world
  • Tea is harvested every week to 10 days for the duration of the growing season, March to December
  • Notably, tea is to China what wine is to France
  • “Ten thousand” is the Chinese description of too many teas to count
  • “Ten thousand” teas is their way of saying all of the tea in China
  • In fact, according to the Chinese there are six main categories of tea; green tea, white tea, yellow tea (unknown to Westerners), black tea, dark black tea, and scented or floral tea
  • Conversely green teas are harder to keep fresh and as a result the flat leaf was rolled into pellet shaped balls, Westerners know this as Gunpowder tea
  • Gunpowder leaves are picked any time, consequently it is not considered a tea of distinction
  • Interestingly, gunpowder tea is considered a favorite in Morocco and the Middle East, served with mint and lots of sugar
  • Heavier than other tea, for this reason you will need ½ the amount of dry Gunpowder leaf to brew a serving
  • Important to note that Chinese black tea did not appear until after Ming Dynasty in 1644AD
  • With good reason and favoritism, Keemun is considered the finest black tea in the world
  • Equally acclaimed, Yin Hao Jasmine is the top grade Jasmine tea
  • Jasmine Pearls have limited production and are very special; described as “only hearts colder than children could fail to be enchanted”
  • It has been said that receiving Jasmine tea pearls is like getting red roses…a very special recognition
  • Finally, tea was introduced in England in 1678 when the East India Company began to import tea commercially and gratefully afternoon tea in England is credited to Anna, Seventh Duchess of Bedford to remedy her “sinking spells”


I invite you to experience tasting new teas, Harney and Son’s Tea is one of my favorite resources.  I love that they have one named after my granddaughter, Catherine.

Owl in one of the Pooh books said,“Come along inside. We’ll see if tea and buns can make the world a better place.”

Drink and share some tea on International Tea Day, let’s make the world a better place.

 

Filed Under: International Tea Day Tagged With: 2021, Harney teas, International tea day, Karen Hickman, May 21st, Professional Courtesy, tea history tea etiquette

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Founded in 1999, the mission of Professional Courtesy and Karen Hickman is to present programs of the finest quality with the highest degree of professionalism.

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Business Email Etiquette                                                                                      The number of emails we all receive every day can be overwhelming, but they are a fact of life. Keeping that in mind, try to observe some of the basic email etiquette rules for emailing within the business world. Your email message may … Read More

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